


When Things Fall Apart

by Captain_Sh



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Children, Complete, Divorce, F/M, Marriage, Post-Divorce, Post-Endgame, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:47:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25398640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Captain_Sh/pseuds/Captain_Sh
Summary: Divorced and co-parenting their daughter Taya, this isn't exactly the happily ever after Kathryn and Chakotay were hoping for. Thankfully, their story isn't over yet.
Relationships: Chakotay/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 28
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> After discovering A03 (I can’t believe it took me this long!) I’m in the process of moving my work over from fanfiction.net, so you may have come across this one before. This was my first foray into writing fanfic. I hope you like it! I’m always grateful for any feedback. Thanks!

'Taya, your father's here!' Kathryn Janeway called up the stairs to her seven year old daughter.

'Five minutes, Mommy! I'm still packing!'

'I thought I told you to get started on that hours ago!' Kathryn rolled her eyes as she pulled the front door further open and gestured for Chakotay to come in. 'You'd better sit down, five of her minutes is the equivalent of half-an-hour to the rest of us.'

'She gets that from you, you know, her tardiness,' Kathryn teased as she followed Chakotay into the living room. 'Can I get you some tea? Coffee?'

'Tea will be fine, thank you.'

As Kathryn hurried into the kitchen, Chakotay sat down in what had once been his favourite armchair, in what had once been his family home. Not much had changed since he had moved out over three years ago, his sand paintings still adorned the walls, the throw pillows that Kathryn hated, but Chakotay had insisted on having, still sat atop the sofas and he still featured prominently in the photographs that were lined up on the mantlepiece - although conspicuously absent were the pictures of him and Kathryn which had once graced the shelf.

Kathryn returned, two steaming mugs in hand. 'Here you go, one cup of tea, blend 9.'

'Thank you.'

She sat in the sofa opposite his armchair, feet tucked beneath her, cradling a steaming mug of coffee between her hands. There was a time when she would have tried to squeeze into the armchair next to him, sloshing her coffee everywhere while he complained about the mess she was making, secretly loving every minute of it.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment, before starting to speak at the same time.

'You go first,' he offered.

'How's Voyager?'

'You know how Voyager is.'

She glanced at him sharply and he groaned inwardly. Why was it that he just couldn't keep his cool around this woman?

'And it was going so well,' she said icily.

'Well, you started it.'

'What do you mean, Chakotay?' Kathryn said exasperatedly.

'"She gets that from you, her tardiness,"' he mimicked.

'I was just teasing, or have you forgotten how to take a joke?'

'Last I checked, jokes were supposed to be funny.'

'Maybe you'd better wait in the 'car. I'll get Taya for you.' Kathryn sat her mug down on the coffee table and made her way over to the staircase.

'No, wait, Kathryn, I'm sorry. Voyager's fine. The crew is fine. Better than fine, in fact. Everyone's on a high since the mission went so well, and we're all glad to have some down time back home. I'm sure that's what you'll hear from everyone once the debriefings start.'

Kathryn paused at the foot of the stairs, seemingly torn between going to get her daughter and continuing the conversation with him. Finally, and with great reluctance, she returned to the sofa. 'Well, I'm glad. That was some feat you pulled. We had quite a few celebrations over at HQ as well. I'm not sure anyone else would have been able to rescue the crew of the Reliance _and_ avoid a major diplomatic incident,' she offered in an attempt to mend fences.

'That's high praise coming from you, Kathryn.'

'I mean it.' Kathryn looked at him earnestly, 'Just because our personal relationship didn't work out doesn't mean that I don't still have the utmost respect for the work that you do, Chakotay. I wouldn't have recommended Voyager for the mission otherwise.'

Somewhat embarrassed, Chakotay tugged at his earlobe. 'Thank you.'

A thundering down the staircase alerted them to the fact that their daughter was ready to go.

'Please, Taya, you're not an elephant.'

Ignoring her mother, Taya Janeway flung herself into her father's arms. 'Daddy! You're home!'

Even Kathryn Janeway couldn't help but smile as Taya peppered her father with kisses and Chakotay spun her around the room.

'Did you bring me anything, Daddy?'

'Of course, its at the house.'

'You should have brought it here, then Mom could've seen it too.'

'You can bring it back with you on Sunday.'

Kathryn groaned. 'It had better not be anything like that Matralian horn you brought back the last time. That thing kept going off in the middle of the night. We had to keep it in a soundproof box out in the shed.'

'Kathryn, that horn is a cultural artifact, its not meant to be kept hidden away in a shed.'

'It was _really_ noisy, Daddy.'

'Well, I think you'll like what I got you this time.' He glanced at Kathryn. 'Both of you.' He reached for the bags Taya had left at the foot of the stairs. 'Oof, what do you have in here, latinum bars? Surely you don't need all this stuff just for the weekend?'

'Aunt Phoebe says its good to be prepared. Besides, I _need_ all those books,' said Taya heading for the door. 'Let's go.'

'She gets that from _you_ , you know.' Chakotay remarked to Kathryn as they followed Taya out the front door.

'Her love for academia? Of course.'

'No, her bossiness.'

Kathryn rolled her eyes as she knelt down on the driveway to give Taya a hug.

'I'll miss you, Mommy.'

'I'll miss you too, sweetheart. Have fun.'

'Come on,' Chakotay said, standing by the passenger door of the hovercar, waiting to usher Taya in. 'Seven'll be waiting.'

* * *

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Closing the front door behind her, Kathryn set about tidying the living room before heading to the study. Whenever Taya was away with her father, Kathryn distracted herself from the echoing silence of their large house by immersing herself in work.

When Kathryn and Chakotay had bought the farmhouse just down the road from her mother's place in Indiana, they had envisaged that it would constantly be busy; bustling with the several children they'd planned on having and the constant flow of visiting crewmembers. Of course, the Voyagers, torn between their allegiance to their former and current Captains rarely showed up after the divorce and the topic of children was the very sticking point that had caused their marriage to sour in the first place.

Shortly after bursting through the Borg cube that had brought them back to the Alpha Quadrant, once all the red tape had been settled, and after a brief tiff over Chakotay's fledgling relationship with Seven of Nine (he had sworn it meant nothing), Kathryn and Chakotay had professed their love for one another in the confines of her ready room.

Their relationship had been a whirlwind of passion and romance. When Kathryn's mother had mentioned that she thought they were taking things a little too fast, especially since they had both been through quite a stressful ordeal in the Delta Quadrant, Kathryn had brushed her off, saying that they were simply making up for lost time. These days, Kathryn often wondered whether her mother had been right and whether they would still be together if they hadn't rushed things.

Five months later, once the debriefings had ended and the Maquis had been pardoned, they were married. A little over a year after Voyager's return, Taya was born.

Kathryn had accepted a promotion to Vice Admiral as soon as she found out that she was pregnant. She had thought that working planet-side would allow her both to be there for her child and to continue to serve Starfleet. She knew, that she would never be a good mother to Taya, if she didn't also satisfy her need to contribute to something much bigger and more purposeful than she was.

In the early years of Taya's life, Kathryn had found it impossible to balance motherhood with even a desk job. She often found herself burping her baby whilst having to draft a memo on the latest starship schematics, or bouncing a cranky Taya on her knee, whilst placating a diplomat who was proving more petulant than her one year old. When Taya was two, Kathryn requested a demotion to Rear Admiral so that she could work part-time, from home.

Of course Chakotay was a big help, but only when he was home and that was a rare occurrence. Although he had planned to settle down on Earth and get a job at the Academy once the debriefings were over, when he was offered the Captaincy of Voyager with the primary mission of rebuilding the demilitarized zone, they had agreed that he simply couldn't refuse. Kathryn knew that Chakotay saw this as a chance to redeem himself for what he believed was his failure to save his people when the Cardassians had ravaged Dorvan V years ago.

The less time Chakotay spent at home, and the more time Kathryn spent trying to raise Taya and fulfill the demands of her job, the more she resented him. They had almost come to blows one day when Chakotay, home on leave, had pressed her about having more children.

'You have got to be kidding me,' she glanced up from the sofa where she was working on a report to where he was playing with Taya on the carpet.

He looked up at her sharply, 'Why not?'

'Chakotay, you're hardly at home as it is. Do you know how much I struggle to manage both Taya and this job?' She said, exasperatedly. 'How would I cope with another baby?'

'We could get a full-time nanny.'

'We've talked about this. It defeats the purpose of having children if we're just going to let them be raised by a complete stranger. As it is, I hate having to leave Taya with Nancy as often as I do.'

'Play, Daddy!' Taya interrupted, shoving the stuffed Delta Flyer Uncle Tom had given her in her father's face.

'One second, sweetie,' Chakotay said, handing the toy back to the child. 'I thought you wanted more children.'

'You know I do, but maybe in a couple of years when Taya is a little more independent and we aren't so busy.'

'You're not getting any younger, Kathryn. Besides, I don't see you giving up your job anytime soon. You might as well be married to Starfleet!' He voice rose a few notches and Taya stilled immediately.

'You know I wouldn't be happy pottering about the house all day. And what about you?' she hissed, careful to keep her voice low so as not to upset her daughter. 'I'd like to see you for more than a week at a time. Taya would too. What's the point of having more children if you're not going to be here to spend time with them? When are you leaving your job?'

'You know I can't do that. Dorvan needs me.'

'What about us? We need you. You swore that you would always be by my side, but I'm alone, Chakotay,' Kathryn reached for her whimpering child, 'We're alone.' Lifting Taya to her hip, she strode purposefully from the room, all the while cursing the husband she couldn't help but love.

That had been over four years ago. Slowly, one argument after another, their relationship had fallen apart. They stayed together because neither could admit that the relationship they'd dreamt of for so long wasn't working and because neither could bear to be apart from their daughter. Occasionally, after a particularly ferocious argument or after a night of having kept up the charade of being a loving couple at some Starfleet function or other, they would come together in a fit of passion and for a few days after, worked at their marriage. Kathryn lived for those days - days when it seemed like their troubles were non-existent and that her fantasies about their future together were finally being played out.

Then one rainy right, when Chakotay, just home from a posting, had gone (or so he'd said) out for drinks with "a few guys from the ship", Kathryn was roused from a good book by a loud knocking at the door.

'B'Elanna? Do you know what time it is?' Kathryn ushered her former Chief Engineer into her living room. 'Is everything okay?'

'I'm fine, its you I'm worried about.'

'Me?' Kathryn was perplexed. 'As you can see, I'm fine, B'Ela.'

B'Elanna pushed into the dining room. 'Where's Chakotay. Is he home?'

'No,' Kathryn said cautiously. 'He's out having drinks with the boys. Isn't Tom with them?'

'Tom's at home, with Miral.'

'Oh.'

'And I'm sure that if you checked, you'd find that Harry, Ayala and Darby are all at home too. I mean, we just got back yesterday!'

'What are you saying?'

'Kathryn, I think you'd better sit down.'

A knot formed in Kathryn's stomach and she reached for the closest chair. She had known that there would come a time when she would have to admit that things weren't working out with Chakotay, but now that the moment was here, she didn't want to face it. 'B'Elanna, I think I know what you're about to say, and…'

B'Elanna knelt on the floor by Kathryn and took her former Captain's hands in her own. 'I'm sorry, Kathryn. When we first heard about Chakotay and Seven…'

' _Seven_?!'

B'Elanna nodded, 'At first we thought they were just rumours, you know - because of their past. But I… I saw them… uhm… kissing… in astrometrics. I was so shocked, I didn't know what to do…' She got up and started to pace. 'But now, I'm ready to punch his brains out! That p'takh! I just don't understand how he could do something like this!'

'B'Elanna…' Kathryn said, suddenly calm.

'I thought he was a better man! What happened to his all-mighty principles? I mean if Tom ever did something like that I always thought Chakotay would be the first to…'

'B'Elanna, please, listen!' Kathryn said sharply, rising to grip B'Elanna by the shoulders. 'Things between us haven't been that great for quite a while now.'

'Wha…?'

'Please, let me finish.'

B'Elanna stilled.

'We decided some months ago, that although we would continue to be married and to live together, we would lead separate lives. Chakotay is free to see whoever he chooses. I'm just surprised that he would do it so openly, and…' Kathryn's voice hitched, 'With Seven of Nine.'

Once B'Elanna had been reassured and her discretion guaranteed, Kathryn had quickly ushered her former engineer out the door with the promise that they would speak soon. All Kathryn really wanted was to be left alone with her thoughts, for although outwardly calm, Kathryn had been seething. Still, she refused to lose her composure in front of B'Elanna. She refused to admit that she, Admiral of the 'Fleet and Darling of the Delta Quadrant, had failed at something so simple, and so _right,_ as her relationship with Chakotay. B'Elanna had wanted to talk about feelings and Kathryn was too proud to admit hers. Too proud to admit that it bothered her that Chakotay didn't love her anymore.

Yes, it was true that she had agreed that they were free to see other people on the quiet, but she hadn't really expected Chakotay to go through with it. She had thought that despite their constant bickering, they shared an underlying bond that was much stronger than all that. _She_ certainly hadn't planned on seeing anyone else. In fact, she was clinging to the hope that his mission would end soon and that once he was based permanently on Earth, they would mend fences and continue to build the family that they had always dreamed of.

Then there was the matter of Seven of Nine. Chakotay had promised that the ex-Borg had meant nothing to him, but if that was the case, why had he gone running back to her at the first opportunity?

Kathryn felt betrayed: betrayed by the man she loved, by the woman she considered a daughter, and even by B'Elanna, who had forced her to confront the truth about her relationship.

Illusions shattered, by the time Chakotay got home that night, Kathryn had prepared the first draft of their divorce papers.

* * *

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

'Oh, and Miral Paris and I aren't friends anymore,' Tara remarked coolly as she watched her father unpack the hover car. She had, in the fifteen-minute ride to his beach house, filled him in on all that had happened in the two weeks since they had last spoken.

'Really? How come?' Chakotay asked, smothering a smile. He had lost track of the number of times Taya and Miral had fallen out only to declare their undying friendship for one another days later. Of course, he should have known better than to expect a less volatile friendship between the daughters of Kathryn Janeway and B'Elanna Torres.

'She thinks that she gets to order me about just because she's older than I am,' Tara explained, as she followed her father into the three-bedroomed house he shared with Seven. 'But I told her that Mum's a lot younger than many of the people she bosses about, so I should get to pick which holonovel we play. After all, "age in itself does _not_ reflect ability",' Taya concluded in near perfect imitation of her mother.

'It certainly doesn't,' said Chakotay, dropping Taya's bag by the front door. 'But I don't think there's much skill involved in deciding between _Flotter and Trevis_ and _The Adventures of Juniper Jailworth_. You and Miral have got to learn how to compromise, sweetheart.'

'That's what Mum said,' Taya huffed, as she flopped sideways onto the soda. 'Are we going to do something fun this weekend, Daddy?'

Before Chakotay could answer, Seven of Nine emerged from the kitchen.

'Hi, Seven,' said Taya genially, righting herself on the sofa.

'Taya Janeway,' Seven offered her customary greeting, her eyes immediately flicking to the disheveled throw cushions Taya had left in her wake. Although it bothered her, Seven had learnt to accept that the ordered environment she preferred simply could not be maintained whenever Chakotay's daughter visited. She had tried to broach the matter of Taya's tidiness with him some months ago, but Chakotay had remarked that he wanted Taya to retain her free-spirit for as long as possible before the life in Starfleet she seemed destined for tried to purge it out of her.

'I am in the midst of preparing your favourite meal,' she informed the young girl.

'Yes!' Taya pumped her fist in the air. 'Pizza!'

'Pizza? I thought your favourite meal was chicken carbonara?' She looked to Chakotay (her source) for confirmation, but he shook his head, indicating that he was just as perplexed as she was.

'Oh, but that was three months ago!'

'I find it difficult to keep up with your culinary tastes, Taya Janeway. I had intended to prepare your favourite meal, but I am unsure whether I have all the necessary ingredients for pizza.'

'That's alright Seven, chicken carbonara's my _second_ favourite. Mum and I tried to make some last week, but… well, I'm sure you know how that turned out…' Taya shot her father a knowing look before heading towards the kitchen. 'Can I help you make it?'

…

After dinner, they had decided to go down to the beach in search of dessert. Now, ice creams in hand, Chakotay and Seven strolled along the beach as Taya ran ahead in search of unusual seashells. Every now and then, she would run back to them to show off an extraordinary find and explain its unique properties. Although her hair had matted in the gentle sea breeze and the corners of her mouth were stained with the remnants of the chocolate ice cream she had just wolfed down, Chakotay couldn't help but admire his daughter. Her cheeks were aglow with exertion and her eyes radiant as she marveled over her new discoveries, reminding Chakotay of Kathryn when she had solved a tricky problem with the magnetron aligners or when her tomato plant had, after weeks of tender care, begun to bear fruit. For the umpteenth time, Chakotay felt the same stirrings of pride that only a father knows, accompanied by a pang of regret as he remembered all that had been lost.

As if reading his mind, Seven spoke up suddenly, freeing her hand from his to keep her hair out of her face as she turned to look at him. 'Have you ever considered the prospect of having more children?'

He paused and looked her squarely in the eyes. 'No. Never.'

'Not even when you were still married to Admiral Janeway?'

'No, not even then.'

They walked along in silence, until Chakotay, worried at the subtext that belied her line of questioning finally asked, 'Why? Are _you_ considering the prospect of having children?'

Although Seven and Taya got along famously, their relationship was more akin to that between friends or sisters than it was to that between step-parent and child. Chakotay had always assumed that Seven was simply making the best of the hand she had been dealt and that she would have preferred if he had resumed their relationship without the added burden of a daughter to frustrate their plans and leave their living room in a constant state of disarray. Truth be hold, Chakotay felt that despite her age, Seven was not yet mature enough to be a mother. She may have come leaps and bounds in developing her humanity since they had severed her from the Collective, but there was still a fragile quality about her - an inability to grasp the full spectrum of human emotions and to surrender wholly and confidently to her feelings without first pausing to consider science, logic or what the most appropriate response should be. As such, she could not know when a hug would suffice instead of a dermal regenerator or when discipline and routine should give way to reckless abandon.

And so, it was a great relief to Chakotay when Seven responded with, 'No. I do not believe that I am ready, nor do I wish to take that step in furthering my humanity.'

The rest of their stroll was unremarkable until it was brought to an abrupt end when Seven's sharp eyesight and keen hearing picked up a photographer lying behind a sand dune taking pictures of the infamous Captain Chakotay enjoying a lazy Saturday evening with his family.

…

'Is that a picture of me?! Am I in the news?' Taya asked incredulously. She had been bounding down the stairs to take her seat at the breakfast table when she spotted her picture in the news bulletin her father held in his hand. 'Can I have a look?' She asked, reaching for it.

'No,' Chakotay warned her off, holding the PADD out of her reach. 'You know how your mother and I feel about these things.'

'Its not fair,' she complained, pouring some milk from the carton on the table into her glass. 'Its _my_ picture.'

'No, what's not fair is that in this, the 24th Century, there's no law that prevents these bas— idiots from invading our privacy!' He tossed the PADD on the table in disgust. 'Free speech be damned. When will they learn to draw a distinction between public interest and what's in the public _'s_ interest?'

'I do not see what is so harmful about a few pictures, Chakotay. Countless people observed us while we were at the beach and that did not seem to bother you. Now we have simply been observed by a few more.'

'Its not just the pictures, Seven, did you read the article?'

'No, I hav—'

'Its full of lies and nonsense. They just make this stuff up without knowing all the facts and then have the nerve to call it _news_! Look for yourself.' Chakotay reached for the PADD he had just discarded to find it in the firm clutches of his daughter.

'Taya!' he roared, but before he could berate her further for disobeying him, she stared up at him, hands trembling, wide-eyed and aghast.

'Is it true, Daddy?' She asked, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

It took Chakotay a moment to realise she was referring to the contents of the article, but Taya seemed to take his silence as confirmation, because before he could say anything further, she had tossed her PADD onto the table, toppling over her glass of milk. 'How could you?!'

'Taya, listen to me…'

'I hate you,' she yelled, as she ran from the room, 'I hate both of you!'

Speechless, Chakotay and Seven could only regard each other quietly as Taya's spilled milk slowly dribbled onto the kitchen floor.

* * *

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Chakotay had hoped to resolve the situation with Taya long before Kathryn found out about it, but the moment he heard the three, sharp rings of his old-fashioned doorbell, he knew that ship had sailed. What he couldn't figure out was how Kathryn has found out about their little debacle so quickly. It had been a mere twenty minutes since Taya had stormed off from the breakfast table, and five since he had given up trying to cajole her out of her bedroom and retreated to the living room, Seven in tow, to take stock of the situation.

He let out a heavy sigh as he ambled to the door, his pace prompting another three impatient rings.

'What the hell were you thinking?' Kathryn demanded, waving a Padd in Chakotay's face, as she pushed past the barely-open door and into his house. It was clear that she had left the house in a hurry - her hair was disheveled and he recognised the over-sized shirt she wore as one of his that she had long ago appropriated as gardening-wear. 'I thought we'd agreed to keep her away from this… this… garbage!'

'It was an accident.'

'An _accident_?' Kathryn repeated incredulously, 'Well, because of your _accident_ , our daughter is upstairs, crying her eyes out! I hope you know Chakotay, this one is on you!'

'The fault lies with both of you,' Seven piped up coolly from her corner of the living room, 'you should have addressed this issue years ago. Taya reads, she has access to various databases and she goes to school, it was only a matter of time before this became an issue.'

' _You_ stay out of this.' Kathryn barked, pointing a figure towards the kitchen, indicating that Seven should leave at once. Seven took two tentative steps in that direction before remembering that Admiral Janeway had no jurisdiction in her home.

'She does have a point, Kathryn.'

'Don't you think I don't know that?' Kathryn snapped. She glared at both of them and then, realising she was outnumbered, retreated to look out the large bay windows, as though hoping the solution to her predicament lay among the hydrangeas and hyacinths in Chakotay's garden. When she finally spoke again, resignation weighed heavy in her voice, 'She's just so young,' she said to no one in particular, 'Too young to understand.'

In the silence that ensued, Chakotay found himself studying Kathryn's tiny frame silhouetted against the morning sun, and was reminded that the bold, imperious and sometimes distant admiral only served to mask a vulnerable woman who felt too much and too keenly.

'I know how you feel,' he found himself saying emphatically, finally voicing the concern that had been weighing heavy on his mind. 'I thought we had more time — that I would find a way to explain it so she wouldn't hate me.'

At that, Kathryn turned to face him, wearing an expression of guilt and pain. 'No,' she said softly. 'Taya should know the truth - that what you did, you did with my permi… with my acknowledgement. It's just…' She stopped herself abruptly, her gaze flicking to Seven. Then, as if she hadn't just left a sentence hanging mid-air, she schooled her features into the 'Captain's Mask' and said firmly. 'Right, let's do this, let's go speak to our daughter.'

She was halfway across the room when she felt Chakotay grip her arm roughly, halting her progress, 'Not so fast…'

'What the hell do you think you're doing?!' Kathryn demanded, at first flabbergasted, but then angry at the intrusion into her personal space. Wrenching her arm from his hand, she turned to face him, ready to unleash the full force of her fury.

'Whatever's bothering you — and something clearly is — I think we should talk about it. Seven, could you give us a moment?'

When Seven made to protest, Chakotay silenced her with a meaningful look. As she left the room, the former Borg drone felt, not for the first time since she and Chakotay had become an item, that although Chakotay and Kathryn were divorced, they would always have a unique connection - a shared understanding - that she would never be able to replicate with Chakotay. Nothing more than the consequence of having a child together, she reassured herself with a mental shrug.

Although Kathryn allowed herself to be led over to the sofa once Seven had left the room, her fury hadn't yet abated, 'So what, Chakotay, suddenly you care?'

Ignoring the sarcasm, which he recognised for the defence mechanism it was, Chakotay said softly, 'You know I'll always care about you, Kathryn. Whatever your problem is, we _have_ to resolve it before we go up there.'

With a sigh of defeat and an inward curse at this man who knew her so well, Kathryn conceded. 'I shouldn't have stayed with you,' she blurted out quickly.

'What?'

Another sigh. 'I'm annoyed with myself,' she said more slowly. 'because I should have filed for divorce the moment you told me you wanted to start seeing other people. instead, I stayed with you - I allowed myself to look like a fool - like the meek little wife who lived in eternal hope that her marriage could be salvaged. I'm not usually that woman, Chakotay. _Every_ day, I try to impress on Taya what it means to be a strong, independent woman. I want her to know that _she_ controls her own destiny and that she shouldn't let anyone - friend, nor lover - diminish her worth and make her feel small. She looks up to me because she sees me as infallible. I don't want her to know that I am weak…'

* * *

Kathryn sat on the window seat in Taya's room, her daughter nestled in the crook of her arm, only half-listening as Chakotay explained to Taya that contrary to what Herb Hugzeug, the tabloid journalist who professed to be an authority on their lives, claimed, he hadn't really cheated on Kathryn with Seven.

The rest of Kathryn's attention was devoted to studying the wonder that was Taya's bedroom. The shelves were heaving with soft toys, art supplies, half-used science kits, books, toys and other alien paraphernalia that Kathryn didn't recognise. The ceiling was painted to look like the sky without and Kathryn was certain that at night, it twinkled with the light of a dozen holographic stars. In the corner of the room sat the most extravagant dolls house… no, dolls village that Kathryn had ever seen. Kathryn hadn't even known that Taya liked dolls. The last time Kathryn had seen Taya with one, her daughter had been three years old. By comparison, Taya's room at home, was a veritable Starfleet bunker. Kathryn was surprised that Taya hadn't asked to live with Chakotay full-time.

'But you were still married to each other when you started seeing Seven?' Taya asked, drawing Kathryn out of her reverie.

Chakotay gave Kathryn a look that she recognised from many a tense negotiation on Voyager. The next move, he was saying, had to be hers. Taya would find it far easier to accept and understand the situation — and to forgive Chakotay — if she saw that Kathryn bore no grudges herself. But Kathryn did bear a grudge, she acknowledged silently. This would not have been her first visit to Chakotay's house if she didn't. It would be so easy (and it was so tempting) to lie and say that she hadn't known about Chakotay's affair with Seven, that she hadn't agreed to a trial separation and that they hadn't agreed to start seeing other people whilst living under the same roof. Taya would be hers entirely. No empty house over the holidays and weekends. No more exchanging forced pleasantries with Chakotay and Seven. Besides, Kathryn was a little ticked off that Chakotay was trying to buy Taya's love with the lavish bedroom and all that sheer darned _stuff_.

Kathryn knew however, that lying to her daughter would be far more detrimental to their relationship that any gift Chakotay could give. What's more, Kathryn's father had been instrumental to her upbringing and shaping the woman she was today. It wouldn't be fair to deprive Taya of that. It wouldn't be fair to Chakotay either. Kathryn remembered how distraught he had been when he'd thought Seska had stolen his child. She couldn't do that to him again. Not when his only crime had been failing to read her mind.

'Yes, Goldenbird,' Kathryn said slowly, stroking her daughter's hair. 'Your father and I were still married to each other, but the marriage wasn't working. So, we agreed to should start seeing other people whilst living under the same roof.'

Taya sat up, her gaze flicking between her parents. Kathryn could almost see the cogs whirring away inside her brain. 'But if the marriage wasn't working, why didn't you get divorced straight away?'

'Because sweetheart, it was difficult for us to acknowledge the end of our marriage. For starters, it would have meant that we couldn't be with you all the time and we love you so much.'

Taya raised an eyebrow, in perfect imitation of her godfather, Tuvok. 'But that happened anyway!' she said exasperatedly, struggling to make sense of Kathryn's explanation. 'So why did that change? Don't you love me anymore?'

It was Kathryn's turn to raise a skeptical eyebrow at her daughter, indicating that Taya knew better than to ask such an absurd question.

'So why don't you still live together? …Dad can just come here whenever he wants to see Seven!'

Kathryn took Taya's hand in hers and stroked its back soothingly. 'Goldenbird, let me finish. That was only one of several factors. Even though your father and I were unhappy in our marriage, you have to remember that we have been through a lot together — both on Voyager and back on earth — that was difficult to just let go of. You've heard the stories of how long it took us to get together. It was hard to acknowledge that what we had waited for and wanted for so long wasn't working. There will always be a part of us that cares deeply for one another, but eventually, we had to admit defeat. It wasn't fair to us, or Seven, and especially to you — you didn't deserve to be brought up by parents who were constantly squabbling and who couldn't give you the attention you deserve. You deserve the best of both of us. And that means both of us, living separately.'

Taya's eye glistened with unshed tears. 'It's not fair,' she sniffed softly, 'I never get the best of both of you _together_. Most of my friends at school — even those with divorced parents — get to spend time with both their parents, but you guys are only together for five minute drop offs and pick ups. I just wish that I could have both of you together. That I could know what its like to be a normal family.'

Chakotay exchanged another glance with Kathryn. She nodded imperceptibly in response.

Taking Taya's free hand in his, Chakotay said, 'At first, it was hard for me to spend time with your mother without feeling sad or thinking of what might have been (at that Kathryn looked away, suddenly finding the frayed hem of her shirt fascinating) but I think your mother and I can both agree that we should try spending some time together — as a family.'

'Just the three of us?' Taya asked cautiously.

'Just the three of us.' Kathryn confirmed.

* * *

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

"Absolutely not!" said Kathryn Janeway firmly, as she trudged into the kitchen, Chakotay and Taya trailing in her wake. Both adults were mud-encrusted, but neither more so than Taya, who was also lugging a large soccer trophy into the house.

This week's prescribed family activity had involved witnessing Taya's soccer team triumph at the state championships and attending the subsequent victory party — an altogether pleasant experience, until the trip home, when Chakotay and Taya had sprung a bombshell on Kathryn.

"Oh, please Mum!" begged Taya, clasping her hands together, sending a dusting of mud flakes to the floor. "I'll be soooooo good! And it will be sooooo good for me." From behind her, Chakotay nodded in agreement.

Chakotay's mission to the demilitarised zone was coming to its organic end — barren planets had been terraformed, settlements raised, power stations brought online and in the coming week, the mission's crowning glory — a new space-station just beyond Dorvan V's orbit — would be open for business. There was to be a space parade to mark the occasion and Chakotay wanted Taya to attend. He believed it would help her better understand the project that had kept him away from Earth for lengthy periods of her childhood, as well as afford her the chance to connect with her aunt, cousins and paternal roots. He had made all this clear to Kathryn on the transport home.

Kathryn signed, taking in the two imploring faces before her. Addressing Taya, she said, "Why don't you go upstairs, get cleaned up, and give us a chance to discuss it a little further?"

Taking this as a sign that her mother was beginning to relent, Taya was eager to acquiesce and quickly hoisted her duffle bag on one shoulder and trophy on the other, before disappearing up the stairs.

Kathryn however, was convinced she could make Chakotay see reason. Together, it would be much easier to let their daughter down gently. First, he needed to be put in his place.

"Are you out of your mind?" she hissed. "What on earth possessed you to think this would be a good idea? And to bring it up in front of her, without even discussing it with me first?"

"Kathryn, I'm sorry. With hindsight, I probably should have, but I genuinely didn't think it would be an issue. She's on her school holidays now, and its just a routine mission. Miral's coming too."

"Just a routine mission?!" Kathryn almost screeched. "I was on 'just a routine mission' when I set out to rescue Tuvok all those years ago, and look how that turned out! And what about my plans for the school holidays? Did you even stop to consider that?"

"Kathryn, we agreed to joint custody… Just because I haven't been around to exercise my rights, does not mean that I don't still have them. Besides," Chakotay paused, searching for the most diplomatic way to make his point, "I think a change of scenery will be good for her."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I just think…" said Chakotay cautiously, "That Taya could use some time away from you."

That set Kathryn ablaze, but before she could respond, Chakotay quickly continued, "Before you read me the riot act, hear me out. Taya wears her hair the same way you do. She walks like you and she talks like you. She shares all your interests — maths, science, tennis — and she eats and breaths Starfleet. I don't want her to limit her options before she even knows what they are!"

"Is that what this is about? You're jealous! Well you should have thought of that before you decided go off gallivanting about the galaxy with a blonde floozy, leaving your wife and daughter at home! Because, let me tell you this, Chakotay, you can buy Taya all the gifts in all the land and it will never make up for your absence!"

"I'm fed up of you playing the scorned, blameless, wife in all of this. If you think that this mission has been some self-indulgent scape, than you clearly never knew me at all! I'm will within my rights to take Taya on this mission, and if I have to, I'll get the courts involved to make sure it happens."

Kathryn knew she had lost. Joint custody was joint custody. When going over the finer details of their divorce, they had been so convinced that they would be able to solve all disputes amicably, that they hadn't bothered with the specifics of the 'Holiday Time' clause in the joint custody agreement, and had simply stipulated that each parent would have an equal amount of holiday time with Taya each year. Besides, Kathryn wasn't litigious, and even if she was, she would knew that Voyager was now a generational ship and as such, she would have a hard time persuading a judge that Taya should not make the trip to Dorvan V.

* * *

In the days leading up to the trip, Taya never had cause to doubt that her parents were on anything less than friendly terms. Together, they helped Taya pack, set up her room in Chakotay's quarters and taught her to use his communications console so that she would have access to her mother back home whenever she needed it.

Behind the scenes, it was a different story altogether. As Chakotay's senior officer, Kathryn had purview over all his plans and took to unilaterally "tweaking" most of his security protocols, especially those concerning minors. Chakotay didn't take too kindly to her intrusion and the two could often be found in heated, whispered, debates in various corridors around the ship. The crew was understandably on edge. Tom joked that Captain Ransom was testing their relationship from beyond the grave, but many of the crewmen who had been on Voyager's maiden voyager did not think the comparison was unwarranted.

It was only when Chakotay saw Kathryn kneeling on the deck of the transporter bay, hugging Taya close to her and whispering last-minute cautions and farewells, that he felt a pang of remorse for forcing his ex-wife's hand in this matter. The stalwart Admiral's nose was growing pinker by the second and there was a glossy sheen to her eyes. Taya however, oblivious to her mother's distress, was having last minute doubts of her own.

"I'm not sure about this, Mum…" she said, chewing her bottom lip. "I've never been away from you for three whole weeks before. What if I miss you too much?"

"Nonsense!" said Kathryn, as nonchalantly as she could. "You'll be having too many adventures to miss me. Your father will be here and besides, I'm only a comm call away. You, my darling, are going to be just fine."

Taya nodded, her confidence restored. "I love you, Mum."

"And I, you, Goldenbird."

At last, Kathryn stood to face Chakotay. Her face tight as she nodded her farewell to him. Whether he was moved by the scene he had just witnesses between mother and daughter, or guided by some veiled premonition, something moved him to pull her aside before she could transport off the ship.

"Kathryn," he said softly, "I'm sorry about what I said — Taya couldn't have a better role model in you. I just… desperately wanted Taya to see what I've been doing out there - why I've been away from her. I realise now, however, that I could have gone about it differently. You'll forgive me?"

Kathryn nodded, meeting his eyes. "I'm sorry that I was so unreasonable. Of course its only fair that Taya spend some of the holidays with you. I just couldn't shake the feeling that… that…" She took a shaky breath and shook her head, as though the act would clear her thoughts. Then, less emotionally, she said, "I guess I am so used to having Taya around most of the time, I was unsettled at the thought of being away from her for so long."

"I'll look after her, I promise."

"I don't doubt that," Kathryn smiled, patting Chakotay's shoulder reassuringly.

With a last smile to her daughter and ex-husband, who stood side-by-side waving her off, Kathryn dematerialised. Little did she realise that the scene that had just unfolded was one that she would hold dear, and play again and again to herself in the coming weeks.

* * *

TBC...


	6. Chapter 6

Taya and Miral brought light relief to what would otherwise have been a mundane journey from Earth to Dorvan V. Voyager's crew enjoyed sharing news of the girls' escapades over meals in the messhall, for the duo could often be seen wandering Voyager's corridors, makeshift tricorders in hand, earnestly discussing problems with the "bio-ural" circuitry or how a dose of pink jelly might cure the outbreak of Andarian flu on Deck 5.

Although Taya and Kathryn spoke most evenings after dinner, Kathryn had been right – between adventures with Flotter and Trevis on the holodeck, games of Kadis-kot with Seven, age-appropriate engineering lessons with B'Elanna and general mischief and mayhem, Taya's days were too full for her to truly miss her mother. Still, Taya delighted in recounting her adventures to Kathryn, and often sought her advice on what tactics might best beat Seven, or on how to convince the Tin Man in the Wizard of Oz holonovel she and Miral were playing that he already had a heart.

Chakotay listened in on these conversations wistfully, as he and Seven tidied the dinner table and settled down for an evening of light work or recreation. He and Taya were close, and he certainly did not doubt his daughter's love for him, but the snippets of conversation that he caught made him alive to the fact that his relationship with Taya was lacking. So accustomed was Taya to Kathryn's presence and counsel, that she didn't see her oft-absent father the way she did her mother – as champion, confidante, mentor and friend.

He realised that Kathryn had been right all those years ago when she had refused to have more children only to have them raised by a nanny. There was something inherently valuable – a richness – about the relationship one cultivated with one's children. He also now saw that it had been foolish and selfish of him to demand that Kathryn give up her position in Starfleet (all that she had ever worked for and known) to stay and home and raise more children. Starfleet gave Kathryn drive, purpose and confidence – qualities he saw reflected and admired in his daughter. Chakotay would never regret placing the needs of Dorvan V before his own, but he was only now beginning to realise how much it had cost him.

* * *

"Aunt Sekaya!" Taya yelled in greeting, as she bounded away form the shuttle that had just deposited her, Chakotay, Seven and a host of supplies at the transport hub of one of the new settlements just outside Dorvan V's capital, Ayuha.

Although it had been three years since Taya's last visit to Dorvan V, as the planet's Federation Liaison Officer, Sekaya, often with her three sons in tow, made frequent visits to Earth, staying with Kathryn whenever Chakotay was off world and as a result, Taya had developed close ties with her aunt and cousins. This was evident from the way Taya was accosted by her cousins, once she had been released from her aunt's fierce embrace.

It was only after watching the four children race off to play and making sure that three-year-old Hoka, who was scrambling to keep up with his older cousins, was safe, that Sekaya turned to welcome her brother warmly.

"Its good to have you and Taya here," she said, ignoring Seven. "Kathryn couldn't make it?"

Chakotay sighed. He was accustomed to dealing with Sekaya's ill-contrived opinions on his former marriage and his relationship with Seven, but that didn't make it any easier. He really shouldn't have been surprised when his sister, a formidable woman, of Amazonic stature, who was equal parts self-assured and self-reliant, had struck up a firm friendship with Kathryn Janeway. Coupled with Sekaya's traditionalist views on marriage, she had taken a strong dislike to Seven the moment she had heard that the former-Borg drone was dating her brother.

"Noo," said Chakotay testily, shooting his sister a warning look, "Kathryn is tied up with work, but _Seven_ and I are delighted to be here."

It was only then, forced to acknowledge Seven, that Sekaya turned to the younger woman, "Seven," she said, frostily, "Welcome back."

Although Chakotay and Seven typically opted to remain on Voyager whilst the ship was orbiting Dorvan V, owing to Taya's visit, they had decided to stay with Sekaya, affording Taya some extra time with family (a decision that Seven was now beginning to regret). Hence, once plans had been made and instructions given for the fresh supplies to be dispatched, or stored, as appropriate, the small company made their way to Sekaya's house.

Chakotay and Sekaya's ancestors had settled on this land and despite the fact that the adobe and plank houses were now replaced with more modern fixtures, the architects had incorporated Native American features and colours into their designs so that the landscape retained the earthy tones and style of the past. It was therefore, something of a surprise to Taya, when they passed a white honeysuckled-covered house, complete with matching picket fence.

"Who lives there?" she asked, staring at the building, mouth agape, trying to decide whether or not she liked it. Whilst it reminded her of her home on Earth, here, amongst the other, more subdued houses in the neighbourhood, it stood out like an eyesore.

"No one," said Wapasha, who was a year senior to Taya, wrinkling his nose, making it clear what he thought of the building, "Its been abandoned for as long as I can remember."

"Actually," said Sekaya, a smile playing on her lips as she pointedly ignored the warning look her brother was giving her. "You could say it's your house. Your parents built it a long time ago, when they thought they might be spending quite a bit of time on Dorvan."

"Really?!" asked Taya, incredulously, looking to her father for confirmation.

Chakotay nodded, shooting Sekaya a dirty look that promised revenge, or at least a stern telling-off later, before reluctantly following behind Taya, who had decided that she _loved_ the house, and was already halfway to its front door.

As Seven made to accompany them, Sekaya put her arm around the former Borg done, and for the first time, addressed Seven in a tone that could almost be described as hospitable. "Seven! Taya tells me you're a fine cook and I could really use your help with this recipe that I've been struggling with all day. Would you mind?" she asked, gently leading Seven in the opposite direction and into Sekaya's own house next door.

* * *

A wave of stale air met Chakotay and Taya as the hefty front door swung open (the security system having taken some time to contemplate Chakotay's seven-year-old passcode) to grant them admittance into what Chakotay had once hoped would be a happy, bustling, oft-used family home.

Sunlight, filtering through cracks in the drawn curtains, served to illuminate a thick layer of dust that covered every surface and an eerie silence pervaded the halls, but this didn't deter Taya who set off, with the reverence of a churchgoer approaching an altar, to explore the house. Taya, like anyone who knew Kathryn and Chakotay well, recognised the house for what it was – a mausoleum to their marriage.

In the living room, fragments of antique warp drives and shuttle hulls, similar to those her mother loved to collect, stood on proud display next to ornately carved figures, or in front of elaborate sand paintings, that Taya recognised as her father's handiwork. The bookshelf sagged under the weight of first editions of some of the great classics that her mother was always insisting she read, and interspersed amongst them, were books on archaeology, history and art – her father's passions. Sitting atop a sideboard, in simple handmade frames, were a collection of fading photographs. Taya lingered over these, studying each one carefully. She often searched the various publicly accessible archives and databases for pictures of her parents together, pre-divorce, but her findings were always the same – posed-shots or pictures of them at formal events, where they always wore what Taya could only describe as their "Starfleet faces".

These photos however, showed a different side to her parents. In one, Kathryn and Chakotay were sitting in the back of an old convertible on their wedding day. He was tucking a stray strand of hair behind his new wife's ear, whilst she beamed up at him with glimmering eyes. In another, her parents were standing in front of her grandmother's farmhouse on a windy summers day. Kathryn, with one hand on her head to keep the floppy straw hat she was wearing from flying away and the other around Chakotay's waist, was laughing into the camera, whilst Chakotay, oblivious both to the camera, and the tendrils of Kathryn's hair that were whipping into his face, gazed down adoringly at her. One photo even featured an 18-month-old Taya on Christmas morning, tiptoeing on unsteady feet to kiss her father on his cheek, whilst Kathryn looked on serenely from where she was perched on the edge of an armchair just within the frame. Other scenes featured their extended families, Voyager's crew and a few other people that Taya did not recognise. It was clear to Taya that her parents had once been happy, carefree and deeply in love with each other.

To escape the acute feeling of melancholy that washed over here, Taya ambled out of the living room and up the stairs to the first floor, barely conscious of her father trailing behind her, lost in his own thoughts. The first door she tried, led to a rather large and sparsely filled linen closet, which unsurprisingly, held no interest for Taya. The second opened out into a room that had been abandoned mid-decoration. Nonetheless, it was clear to Taya that it was to have been her room. A toddler's bed, still in its packaging, sat in the middle of the room, a mattress (also packed) leaning against its side. Taya drifted through the room, past various boxes labelled 'Taya's Clothes' and 'Taya's Toys', and out again, wondering what it would have been like to grow up there, imagining her parents cooking together downstairs and watching her cousins play in the back garden next door.

The neighbouring room was a nursery – Taya presumed she must have been transitioning out of this room and into the one next door. A white cot stood against a wall, beneath a mobile of stars, nebulas and starships. Taya crooked a smile, she wouldn't have expected anything less of Starfleet parents. There were fewer boxes in this room, all marked 'Baby Things'. Taya rifled through them, hoping to find some memento from the past that she might remember.

She had given up the task as a futile endeavour – these were clearly boxes of unwanted baby things – when Chakotay came up behind her, wearing a slightly perplexed expression. "What have you got there?" he asked.

"Nothing," Taya said, shrugging as she stood up. "Guess you and Mum thought I was going to be a boy, huh?" She said, stuffing a wad of cloth into her father's hands before strolling off to explore the rest of the house.

"No," Chakotay called after her, "By the time your Mother found out she was pregnant, we could already tell…" His voice trailing off as he studied the pale blue onesie that Taya had thrust into his hands. On it, emblazoned in dark blue, tasteful lettering, were the words "Baby Boy Janeway".

* * *

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

Chakotay tugged at the collar of his dress uniform, wondering if he had time to replicate one in a larger size before the parade kicked-off. He, and some of the other Starfleet dignitaries who would be observing the parade from the space station's observation deck, were milling about a holding room waiting for the proceedings to commence.

"It is uncharacteristic for you to be nervous," Seven remarked, noticing Chakotay's fidgeting and giving his collar a final straighten, in perfect imitation of the wives and girlfriends she had just been observing.

"I'm fine," Chakotay reassured her, "I just want to be sure that the parade goes off without a hitch." Chakotay nodded towards one of the many monitors that lined a wall of the holding room. It showed a group of angry protestors who were gathered on Dorvan V, just outside the main transport terminal to the space station. Whilst most of Dorvan's citizenry had welcome the planet's Federation membership (and all the changes and developments that had entailed) a minority of staunch traditionalists and former Maquis had yet to be convinced. What Seven didn't know was that although these activists (the universal translator rendered their name as the "Orthodox Dorvans", but Voyager's crew had taken to calling them the "ODs" – a nickname coined by none other than Tom Paris) made their grievances known frequently and loudly, an inquest into their leadership and activities had revealed that they posed a negligible threat, lacking the resources to cause serious disruption today's celebrations, and certainly not to the Federation's plans for the region.

In fact, Chakotay's thoughts were preoccupied with the onesie Taya had discovered the evening before. Further examination of the boxes had revealed a collection of baby paraphernalia that Chakotay did not recognise. His thoughts still raced with the implications – had Kathryn really had a second pregnancy? Without telling him? Sure, their relationship had been tumultuous towards its end, but Chakotay didn't really believe that Kathryn would keep something like that from him, would she? Besides, if she had really wanted to hide a baby from him, setting up a nursery in the middle of their home was hardly inconspicuous. Of course Kathryn might have been storing the boxes for her sister, Phoebe, but Chakotay doubted it. Phoebe and her husband didn't have any children, and Phoebe had always been very vocal about the fact that she intended for it to stay that way. That could only mean that Kathryn had miscarried or had an abortion. Whatever had happened, there was only one place that Chakotay would get his answer, and it certainly wasn't here, light years away from Earth.

Chakotay tugged at this collar once more, undoing Seven's handiwork. When would this damned ceremony be over?

* * *

Mug of steaming coffee in hand, Kathryn Janeway settled behind her desk at Starfleet HQ to watch the space parade through the Dorvan sector. Despite recent behavior to the contrary, Kathryn usually preferred to steer clear of Chakotay's professional affairs, but this, Taya's first appearance on a live public broadcast, called for an exception to be made.

Moments into the broadcast, the camera panned across the observation deck where dignitaries were beginning to gather, finally settling on Chakotay, Taya and Seven. As the commentator extolled Chakotay's virtues and attributed the success of the Dorvan Reclamation Project to his sterling leadership, Kathryn studied the trio carefully. They made a striking family, Kathryn noted with a pang. Chakotay looked smart and distinguished, albeit a little distracted, in a crisp, freshly replicated dress uniform. Kathryn wondered what preyed so heavily on Chakotay's mind that would prevent him from enjoying the festivities that were as much in his honour as they were to mark the completion of the space station. Idly, she called on the computer for the event's security status. Yellow alert, the computer told her, peaceful demonstrations outside the transport hub on Dorvan V, but no perceived threats.

Next to him, impervious to the camera trained on her, Taya stood at attention, her pride at being an important guest at an official Starfleet event, clearly written on her face for all to see. Her dress, a silk maroon bodice with black tulle skirt, which Taya and Kathryn had painstakingly designed, complemented Chakotay's dress uniform exactly as they had intended. When the commentator announced that the parade would begin in "just one minute", Taya shifted her weight from one foot to the other – the only perceptible sign that she was impatient for the parade to start. Kathryn looked on proudly; Taya would make a fine Starfleet officer someday. Seeing her daughter's beaming face, Kathryn was forced to grudgingly admit that she had been wrong to try and keep her daughter from such an enriching experience. These moments would be with Taya forever. They would help cultivate the woman Taya would eventually grow up to be and she would be all the better for it.

Less conspicuously, off to one side, in a sleek black, skin-tight catsuit, stood Seven, her hair perfectly coifed into a French twist. She stood serenely, observing the proceedings before her, as a queen might observe her lesser subjects. Kathryn ran her hand through her messy bun, suddenly conscious of her shortcomings. Thankfully, before Kathryn could ponder them any further, the scene cut to the parade's starting line where a green flare declared the parade begun.

The Delta Flyer Mark III, the Federation envoy launched the procession. Holoemitters affixed to the ship's hull projected various scenes from the Federation's history, from Zefram Cochrane's first encounter with the Vulcans to Dorvan's recent accession to the Federation Charter. After each image was projected, it was assembled, as pieces of a puzzle are, to form a large collage in the background, which when taken as a whole formed the emblem of the United Federation of Planets. The missive was clear – together, we are stronger. Have no fear, citizens of Dorvan; you have made the right choice.

The Dorvan shuttle told the history of the sector, from the arrival of the first settlers from Earth, to the building of the first dam, space travel and now, a space station. Its message: We may have been slow to evolve and develop, but develop we did and Federation membership was but next in the natural progression of things.

Only Voyager's shuttle, the Sacajawea, through a serious of abstract sand sculptures that rose and ebbed into various familiar scenes, addressed the Cardassian War and the resulting tensions between Dorvan and the Federation. It portrayed the Maquis in a sympathetic light, as freedom fighters desperate to defend their families and their land, but acknowledged that Starfleet was caught in a precarious political position. Chakotay, with, Kathryn suspected, some help from Thomas Paris, told the tale of Voyager's crew – of the circumstances that had forced them together, of rifts and misunderstandings that threatened to tear them apart and of shared goals, hopes and dreams, of births, deaths, celebrations and disappointments that ultimately brought them together. We learnt to look past our differences and became a family, they said. Don't let old grudges and prejudices prevent you from having what just might be as enriching and fulfilling an opportunity.

So moved were Kathryn and the commentator by Chakotay's display, that neither noticed when the next shuttle in the procession began to fly erratically, until it careened too close to the space station and seemed set to collide into the observation platform. Kathryn was immediately on her feet, her hand instinctively slapping her commbadge, until she realised that she was too far away to be of any use or influence. A couple of nearby ships moved to intercept the rogue Dorvan shuttle, but it was too late. The space station's shield's flickered, as the shuttle crashed into one of the docking limbs just next to the observation deck. Kathryn watched in stunned silence, as a series of explosions filled her display before the broadcast was abruptly cut off.

* * *

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

The USS Vanguard was en route to Dorvan V when the Lieutenant manning the Vanguard's communications array received an urgent call from Voyager's EMH. He swiftly patched it through to Admiral Janeway's office on Deck 1. Moments later, the Vanguard's pilot received orders from Captain Tuvok to increase their speed to the ship's maximum of Warp 9.975. An hour later, the Vanguard arrived at the scene of the most devastating act of terrorism that the Federation had seen since Shinzon's mass assassination of the Imperial Senate of the Romulan Star Empire.

As soon as the Vanguard was within transporter range of Voyager, Admiral Janeway was beamed on board. Galey Siddle, a newly graduated ops officer, was tasked with escorting the Admiral from Voyager's transporter room to its sickbay. As the two hurried through Voyager's corridors – the Admiral opting for a shortcut that Galey had, despite her year on board, yet to learn – the young Ensign somehow manage to find the time to think it laughable that she had been asked to chaperon Kathryn Janeway through the ship, that the older officer had, for seven years, called home.

The Admiral came to an abrupt halt just within Sickbay's doors, and Ensign Siddle, who until now, had been doing her best to keep up with the Admiral, almost ran headlong into her charge. Together, the two surveyed the chaos unfolding before them.

Captain Chakotay was the only patient in the room. He lay thrashing about on the central biobed, beads of sweat dripping down his face. Three medical personnel, including Voyager's EMH, were scrambling about him, taking various readings and administering hyposprays. A further two officers were standing close by, behind a console that was emitting ear-splitting shrills at increasingly regular intervals. Seven of Nine stood by Captain Chakotay's side, his hand firmly clasped within her own. In the furthest corner of the enclave, B'Elanna watched helplessly, her hands clasped together in silent prayer.

Only Seven of Nine noted the Admiral's arrival and left Chakotay's bedside to meet the newcomer. The two women met face-to-face in the middle of sickbay and regarded each other dispassionately for what felt, to Ensign Siddle, like hours. It was Seven who finally demurred. "He has been asking for you," she said to the Admiral as she stood aside and out of the older woman's way.

Kathryn nodded abruptly; her face was schooled in the Admiral's mask, which Siddle found impossible to read. The Admiral's hand went out, as though to pat Seven consolingly on the arm, but at the last minute, she drew it back, her attention diverted by a soft, hoarse, cry from the biobed. "Kat…"

The medical officers backed away from Captain Chakotay's biobed as the Admiral approached. They seemed to expect her to be able to perform the miracle that they themselves could not. Ignoring them, Kathryn took Chakotay's hand – the hand that Seven had only minutes ago abandoned – in her own, caressing it tenderly. With her free hand, she brushed greying, sweat-drenched, strands of hair out of his face. "I'm here…" Ensign Siddle heard her whisper, before the Admiral leaned in closer to Chakotay and her voice dropped to an incomprehensible, but constant murmur. Conscious she was intruding on a private moment, Ensign Siddle suddenly found Sickbay's fraying carpet endlessly fascinating. Similarly, the other medical officers found themselves abruptly occupied with senseless tasks of their own. Only Seven of Nine remained riveted watching her ailing boyfriend being comforted by his ex-wife.

Try as she might not to observe them, Ensign Siddle couldn't help but notice that the effects of the Admirals' presence on the Captain were nearly instantaneous. The Admiral could hardly have had said much to him, when Captain Chakotay stopped convulsing and the medical alarms slowed to a dull, steady pace.

The Doctor was first to approach the couple to run scans of his patient. "The Captain's vital signs are stabilising," he pronounced, before injecting Chakotay with a hypospray. "I've induced a coma to reduce the swelling in his brain. He'll have to come out of the coma on his own – but with some excellent care – the Captain should make a full recovery. I don't know what you said to him Admiral, but whatever it was, it certainly worked!"

Admiral Janeway nodded in acknowledgment, suddenly looking very tired. Seemingly in relief, she half-collapsed into a chair at the head of Chakotay's biobed, resting her head against his bare shoulder, as though drawing strength from his presence. Ensign Siddle realised that the Admiral must have been worrying about her ex-husband and her daughter, with little rest, since the explosion occurred over 24 hours ago.

Next to Ensign Siddle, Seven shifted uncomfortably. Galey Siddle noted that although the former Borg drone _must_ have been relieved at her boyfriend's turn for the better, you would have been hard-pressed to tell based on her countenance alone. Little did Ensign Siddle know, that having observed Admiral Janeway's stirring display, a similar thought had just struck Seven as well.

Regaining her composure, Admiral Janeway looked up and addressed the room. "Where's Taya?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, Admiral," Was the soft response from B'Elanna's corner of the room, "We don't know…"

* * *

It was only down to years of exemplary Starfleet training that Kathryn managed to suppress the rising tide of hysteria that threatened to overwhelm her as she listened to B'Elanna describe the lengths Voyager's crew had gone to in their attempt to find Taya. The space station's wreck had been scoured from stem to stern and Voyager had run the full gamut of scans at their disposal, but try as they might, Taya was nowhere to be found.

Kathryn and B'Elanna stood on the wrecked space station surveying the damage that the rogue shuttle had done to the observation deck. Part of the large room's outer wall had been obliterated in the explosion and a level 10 force field was all that now stood between the women and open space. Beams had collapsed, tables were upended and what little else remained of the deck was scorched beyond recognition. Nonetheless, here and there, Kathryn could make out the tell tale maroon patches left behind by the 37 people who hadn't made it and the 94 others who were fighting for their lives in the sickbays of the various ships that were holding their positions in the vicinity of the space station and trying to provide whatever aid, support and further security that they could in the wake of the disaster.

"As far as we can tell, the shuttle _was_ targeting the deck, but either their navigation or propulsion system malfunctioned – whatever the reason – thank goodness they missed, or the casualty count would have been much higher. Emergency force fields kicked in almost as soon as the blast hit this area. Most of the casualties were standing over there." B'Elanna pointed in the direction of open space before walking to a raised dais in what would've been the middle of the room, had it been whole. "Chakotay and Taya were standing over here, well beyond the reach of the explosion, but close enough to suffer its impact. Most people were flung into that wall at the back of the room and, like Seven, managed to get away with a few broken ribs and some scratches and bruises."

She walked further back into the room to where a beam rested neatly against the back wall, "Chakotay was found here, under this beam," she said, kicking the offending piece of debris angrily with her foot, "The officer who found him said that he was curled up, as though trying to protect something, or some _one_ under him – but she didn't find anyone else with him. We've combed this area a hundred times, but there's no one else here… It's possible that Taya managed to crawl out from under him to go for help, or to find somewhere to hide. It's a huge space station, but our scans should have detected her by now."

"Do your scans pick up…" Kathryn liked her dry lips, swallowed deeply, and tried again, "Would your scans pick here up if she were…"

B'Elanna didn't have to listen to the rest of the question to be able to respond. "Yes," she said firmly, her heart going out to her commanding officer. The Parises had been on board the Sacajawea when the blast occurred and had watched, horrified, as explosions had ripped through the space station. Miral, traumatised and worried about her best friend, had to be given a mild sedative and left under the care of a holo-nanny so that her parents could aid in the rescue efforts. B'Elanna knew that she wouldn't be functioning in half as fit a state as the Admiral, if their situations had been reversed.

"Could she have somehow ended up on board one of the other ships?"

"We've put out an alert and surreptitiously run scans of all the non-'Fleet ships nearby. No one has seen her."

"Foul play?"

"We haven't ruled it out – but no signs of anything as yet, Admiral. No one else is unaccounted for, and there were some high profile attendees."

"I want a full repor…" Kathryn's voice trailed off, as the colour drained from her face. Kathryn, the mother, had finally defeated the Starfleet Admiral. "Oh God, 'Lanna," she said softly. "What am I going to do… I don't know what I'd do without her…"

Grabbing the older woman's shoulders, B'Elanna forced her friend and mentor to look at her, "Admiral… _Kathryn..._ I promise you, no one on Voyager is going to rest until we find her. She's one of us and she's our top priority. Tom has already told the brass that we won't be assisting with any other efforts until we find Taya."

As if to emphasis B'Elanna's point, Harry Kim chose that moment to come bursting into the room. He paused in front of them, panting. After taking a moment to recover, he waved a Padd above his head in triumph. "There was a transport…" He said, still breathing deeply, "Just after the collision… when the space station's shield's failed and before the emergency force fields kicked into place… Someone was transported off the space station and onto what must have been a cloaked ship. This wasn't a senseless attack – they were after one of us..."

* * *

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should've, would've and could've invented my own Counsellor, but Hugh Cambridge from Kristen Beyer's recent Voyager novels was just what I was after, so I thought I'd give him a cameo here. No infringement intended.

Fifteen minutes had lapsed since Lieutenant Harry Kim announced his discovery and Voyager was now hot on the trail of an ion signature which Harry was certain could belong to no vessel other than that which had beamed Taya off the space station over 27 hours ago. He was currently running B'Elanna through his findings, lest a second pair of eyes pick up something he might have missed, and the duo were due to brief Voyager's senior staff within the hour.

Having run through Harry's data, and being in complete agreement with the (now highly experienced) Lieutenant, there was little else for Kathryn to do, but sit in quiet contemplation of the stars as they streaked past Voyager's ready room, worry about her daughter, and wait for the briefing to begin.

Chakotay had done little redecorating since assuming her former post. The onyx bust of Tutankhamen, that he had always adored far more than she did, still adorned the shelf beside the desk; the bamboo fern, that she had chosen for its renown hardiness in the dry climate of a starship, still thrived on its perch behind the sofa; and Kathryn was convinced that the subtle scene of coffee that had pervaded the office whilst she had been its occupant, still lingered in the air.

The familiarity of the setting was a balm to her frazzled nerves. Kathryn had often taken solace in her ready room on Voyager's maiden journey through the Delta Quadrant. It was here that she had prayed for miracles, mulled over problems, licked her wounds and celebrated personal triumphs. In her darkest hours, it was in this room, that she had allowed herself to indulge in fantasies about the future – namely, a life with Chakotay and their children. It seemed so much had changed in the seven years since their return to Earth, but sitting here, she realised, that much remained the same. She was still alone. Still pining after the same man. Still yearning to share her life with him. Perhaps, she mused, as a lone tear rolled down her cheek, she was one of those people for whom happiness is a cruel friend, appearing every so often to tap her on the shoulder, only to dance out of sight should she so much as try to catch a glimpse of him.

A soft chirping of a comm badge brought her out of her reverie and alerted her to the fact that the briefing was due to begin. Hastily, she dried her eyes, straightened her uniform and marched to the briefing room. There were other things that hadn't changed – she was still the fearless, determined and unwavering woman she had been when she had assumed command of Voyager fourteen years ago and she would be damned if a hostile alien was going to abduct her daughter and get away with it.

It was that woman who met Voyager's senior staff as, one-by-one, they filed into the briefing room. She stood behind her chair at the head of the table, one hand on her hip and the other resting firmly on the headrest in front of her. Her composure impressed Commander Paris, who had just heard, from B'Elanna, about the Admiral's near-nervous breakdown on the space station. The Doctor however, expected no less of the Admiral, but recognised the bags under her eyes and her rigid posture as tell tale signs of stress and insomnia, and mentally prepared a concoction of vitamins and supplements to administer to her later. Only Counsellor Cambridge, a new addition to Voyager's senior staff, was unimpressed by Admiral Janeway's aplomb. Having counselled both the Admiral and Captain Chakotay on their return to Earth, he believed it was simply a matter of time before the Admiral really and truly snapped – and when that happened, anyone in close proximity, would be wise to duck for cover.

Once everyone had arrived and the Admiral had taken her seat, Commander Paris began the meeting with an update. "I just heard from Delegate Sekaya. Ground crew at the transport hub on Dorvan V found a couple of bodies hidden in a storage locker. They have been identified as the original pilots of the shuttle Adalinda. It seems the pilots were shot before they boarded the shuttle. Based on preliminary scans of the phaser burns, Sekaya's people think that the weapons used were Cardassian. She asked if we would send a team to help with their investigation. Captain Tuvok has agreed to assist them in our absence."

With the ease of actors in a well-rehearsed play, Harry picked up where Tom dropped off, calling up a star chart on the view screen in front of them. "Our analysis shows that when Taya was beamed off the space station, she _should_ have materialised here…" he zoomed in to an area of pitch black on the map, "… in open space, but we know that didn't happen. _Nothing_ has materialised there since the explosion. Instead, our scans of the area picked up an ion trail."

" _Two_ ion trails, in fact," B'Elanna chimed in, tapping a few buttons on a Padd and updating the display to illustrate her point. "One fainter – older – and the other much stronger. Consistent with what you would expect to see from a cloaked ship entering the area, holding its position for a few hours and flying out again."

Harry nodded in agreement. "Our long range scans show that the stronger trail ends at a complex just outside a densely populated city in the northern hemisphere of Cardassia Prime."

"Our sensors are not able to penetrate the compound," added Seven. "Starfleet does however have a covert probe monitoring the planet. We were able to use it to obtain these satellite images." A two-dimensional picture popped up on screen. It showed a few unassuming and artless beige buildings in the middle of a desert landscape. Each was connected to the others by a series of covered walkways and bridges. A couple of decrepit shuttles and tanks, reminiscent of those used on Earth in the early 21st Century, were parked outside. "It appears to be a military base."

"Or a boarding school," joked Cambridge. No one cracked a smile.

"Can we be certain that Taya's in there?" Kathryn asked.

"We can't be _absolutely_ certain," answered B'Elanna. "As far as we can tell, the shuttle made no stops along the way and no one has left the compound since we started monitoring comings and goings. I'd say the chance is pretty high."

Kathryn nodded her understanding. "I'll be leading an away team in in the Delta Flyer – we'll worry about the consequences of violating Cardassian space when – and if – it becomes an issue. Tom, I want your best people ready to go as soon as we reach the Federation-Cardassian border."

No one dared challenge the Admiral. Only Counsellor Cambridge scowled his disapproval.

* * *

Years of accumulated and assimilated Borg knowledge corroborated the Doctor's claim that coma patients who were exposed to familiar sounds and voices made speedier recoveries than those who were not. It was to this end, that Seven found herself in sickbay late that evening, only to find a familiar figure already keeping vigil beside Chakotay's bed. The Admiral stood with her head bowed, Chakotay's hand in her own and clutched firmly to her chest. She was whispering softly to him – too softly for even Seven's bionic hearing – and besides, Seven suddenly found that she had no interest in sticking around to eavesdrop.

It was only once she was safely ensconced in the corridor just outside sickbay, that Seven paused to evaluate the situation. The Seven of Nine of yesteryear – newly severed from the Borg Collective – would never have fled from that, or any, situation. It was at times like these that Seven wondered whether, in her quest to embrace humanity, she had _e_ volved or _de_ volved. She had once stood, quite unperturbed, and stark naked in front of Q Jr., sung drunken Klingon operas and smooth jazzy ballads with the Doctor on the holodeck, and stared down Species 8472, the Borg Queen and even death itself. Yet faced with the scene in sickbay, she had felt an inexplicable and unbearable tightness in her chest that now threatened to overwhelm her. So intent was she on subduing this feeling, that she was quite unaware of Counsellor Cambridge coming to rest against the bulkhead beside her, until he asked softly, "Are you alright?"

"Admiral Janeway _loves_ Chakotay." She replied, quite matter-of-factly, her mind still reeling.

If this was news to the Counsellor, it certainly didn't show. Instead, he asked coolly, "But surely it only matters if Chakotay loves her back?"

"He does." The response left Seven's mouth before had the chance to give the question much thought. Then, as she untangled the threads of the last seven years – her interactions with Chakotay, his interactions with her and his interactions with the Admiral – she answered more firmly. "He tries not to love her, but he does."

"How does that make you feel?"

When Seven did not immediately respond, he prodded her. "Angry? Jealous?"

Seven had yet to grasp the full range of human emotions, but she knew those weren't a right fit. Mentally, she tested words out for size and settled on "Sad", but even that didn't feel quite right.

"Do _you_ love Chakotay, Seven?"

Seven paused again, although she knew the answer to this one. It has come to her in sickbay earlier that afternoon, when she had watched the Admiral sooth a restless Chakotay. "Not as much as she loves him. Chakotay listens to me and cares for me. He encourages me to discern who I am, but does not force his opinions on me. He is my… safe harbour, but I am unable to provide a safe harbour for him. I am not enough for him."

"Before you joined Voyager, and before you started dating Chakotay, when was the last time you felt safe, Seven?"

Cambridge did not stick around for her response. He knew that some truths were so deeply buried that their revelations were often a long time in coming.

Seven was still searching her vault of memories in contemplation of the Counsellor's question, when Admiral Janeway came round the corner.

"Seven," acknowledged the Admiral, uncomfortably.

"Admiral."

It was the first time that the two had been alone in years – quite remarkable, given that Seven had once been Kathryn Janeway's protégé. Seven hadn't always shared the Admiral's views or agreed with her decisions, but she _had_ always felt a deep and abiding respect for the older woman. The Admiral inspired Seven, not with her confidence – Seven was hardly lacking that – but with her poise, eloquence and the seeming ease with which she handled anything thrown her way. These were traits that Seven tried to emulate daily, often with little success.

Seven acknowledge that on Voyager, she had taken furtive pleasure in the Admiral's undivided attention, be it when listening to stories about Kathryn's childhood in Indiana or when working together to solve a problem. Kathryn in turn, having severed Seven from the Collective, felt responsible for the former drone's wellbeing. She had taken an interest in and tried to cultivate Seven's development and although Seven had tested her patience at every hurdle, Kathryn had never given up on Seven – not until Seven had started dating Chakotay that is.

He had driven a wedge between the two women. Not deliberately, but Seven now saw that it would have hurt the Admiral to see the man she loved with another woman, much more a woman she regarded as a daughter. Seven would have liked to think that she wouldn't have agreed to take Chakotay back had she realised the pain it would cause the Admiral, but she knew that back then, she hadn't cared. When Voyager had returned, she had been glad to get out from under Kathryn Janeway's thumb – Kathryn who was always advising and opining and _caring_. Nor had she questioned Chakotay's motives. Chakotay had chosen _her_ over the oft-praised, highly commended and utterly brilliant Kathryn Janeway. Seven had finally felt worthy – finally felt loved – and that had been all that mattered.

"I'm sorry," Seven found herself saying, breaking the awkward silence that had ensued between the women.

"What for?" asked Kathryn, taken aback.

"I have caused you, and Chakotay, a great deal of despair."

At this, Kathryn softened. She gave Seven a small, sad, smile. "If anything, I would say its been the other way 'round."

Seven was unsure how to respond, but Kathryn's demeanour emboldened her to ask the question that had been preying on her mind since the senior staff meeting earlier that day. "I wish to join the away mission to rescue Taya. It may not be appropriate – and you may not approve of this – but I have come to care a great deal for her."

Seven was surprised when Kathryn Janeway acquiesced.

* * *

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

The away team materialised on Cardassia Prime early in the morning. Despite the hour, heat rolled off the ground and obscured their target: a series of interconnected sandstone buildings. Had it not been for its faint shadow, cast by the rising sun behind it, the complex would have been virtually indistinguishable from the desert landscape. Loose, beige, utilitarian approximations of the robes favoured by Earth's desert nomads in the 20th Century protected the team from the heat and camouflaged them to their surroundings. In a further bid to remain undetected, their tricorders had been programmed to mask their biosigns.

Having hashed and rehashed their strategy on the flight over, silently, the away team split up into two groups. Harry, Ayala and Vorik would head for the middle of the compound, where, if B'Elanna's calculations were correct, they would find the electromagnetic field generator that was interfering with their scanners. Once they had disabled it, they would signal Tom, who was hiding the Delta Flyer behind the planet's moon. He would then fly in, beam Taya and the rest of the away team on board, before hightailing it out of there. As a fallback measure in the interim, Kathryn and Seven would mount their own search for Taya.

It didn't take long for the women to find their way into a building – the first service door they tried was unlocked. Indoors, the air was arid and stifling. Ventilator fans interspersed throughout the complex did little but stir the thick cobwebs that hung heavy in dark corners and over windowpanes. An eerie silence pervaded the building. Undeterred, Kathryn and Seven moved stealthily through the complex, but their furtiveness was for nought, the corridors were still and silent.

The first rooms they came across were classrooms, and just as they were beginning to give credence to Counsellor Cambridge's theory that this was a boarding school, they found the weapon's lockers (empty) and combat and target practice rooms (desolate). It wasn't until they reached the dormitories however, that it became apparent that the building had served as military training facility for Cardassian children. It was here, that (until recently, it seemed) the next generation of Cardassian soldiers and assassins had been born. Row upon row of rusty metal beds and cots lined each wall, and strewn about everywhere – as though its occupants had left in a hurry – were an assortment of childish effects: rumpled clothes, opened books, toys frozen mid-play.

Kathryn lingered over each unmade bed and studied each discarded item carefully, lest it reveal some clue as to Taya's whereabouts. Seven, far more methodical and efficient in her search, moved swiftly through the room and soon left Kathryn behind. Briefly, it occurred to Kathryn that motherhood had changed her, not only as a person (in the usual ways one might expect), but also as a Starfleet Officer. The latter was surprising, as she had often likened motherhood to captaincy. The fundamentals of the job were the same: keep them alive, keep them fed, and as far as you possibly could, keep them happy. Certainly, she would have risked life and limb for any member of her flock, but now that her daughter's life was at stake, she was far more apprehensive than she would otherwise have been, and as a consequence, less vigilant and alert.

Finally satisfied that the room yielded no clues, Kathryn was about to call for Seven to wait for her, when a flash of movement outside a window caught her eye. She made it to the window just in time to see a young boy, clad in grey, disappear into the next building. Kathryn wasted no time in pursuit. She tried the window, and when it wouldn't budge, she phasered through it and set off after him.

Through a series of shoddily made corridors, he led her deep into the building and underground. As she was beginning to worry that she might have lost him, Kathryn rounded the corridor to come face to face with a scrawny little Cardassian boy. Soft, incandescent light, filtering in through a mould-covered skylight, cast shadows across his face and gave him a spooky glow. Even more disconcerting, was the vacant and hollow expression with which he now regarded Kathryn. Slowly and wordlessly, he lifted his right and pointed down a narrow, makeshift, stairwell that Kathryn had not noticed before.

"Where does it go?" she asked authoritatively. No response, only that dead, dark gaze.

Against her better judgement, Kathryn took the stairs one at a time, phaser in one hand, the other holding on to the rickety bannister that seemed even less reliable than the stairs. Every now and then, she would glance back to see if she was being followed, but the boy remained at the top of the stairs, his eyes boring deep into her. The stairs ended in a corridor that branched off into two sections: one a dead end and at the end of the other, a door. Kathryn's instincts screamed that it was a trap, but she also couldn't ignore the possibility that Taya was close by. So, she pressed on. With every step she checked for the boy, but saw nothing but damp, empty corridor behind her. Then, just as she was about to enter the room, she looked back again. There he stood, half way down the corridor, as though magicked there by some supernatural force; the same dark, haunting, eyes.

Kathryn contemplated stunning him and taking her chances in this labyrinth sans guide or tricorder, but her instincts told her that this boy held the key to Taya's whereabouts, and at this stage, she was getting desperate. Besides, no matter how menacing his look, he hadn't actually tried to hurt her… not yet, at least. She therefore chose to ignore him and enter the room.

It was small and barren, lit only by a small lamp that dangled from the ceiling on a rusty chain. Water dripped down the walls from exposed pipes on the ceiling and dark brown patches stained the cement floor. In the middle of the room, gagged and bound to a metal chair that was in turn firmly affixed to the floor, sat Taya. Her face was bruised and her clothes ripped and scorched. She looked up in fright when Kathryn entered the room, but her features gave way to relief the moment she recognised her mother.

Immediately, Kathryn felt as though a great weight had been lifted from her chest. Latent danger forgotten, she holstered her phaser and rushed to Taya's side. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" She asked anxiously, as she set work on loosening Taya's restraints.

"I knew you would find me," she sobbed, throwing her arms around her mother as soon as they were free.

"Who did this to you? Where are they?"

"I thought you'd never ask," came a cold, calculating, female voice from the doorway.

Kathryn whipped around, simultaneously drawing her phaser, but it was too late. Her assailant had the element of surprise and the weapon was quickly knocked out of Kathryn's hand. Kathryn found herself starring helplessly down the barrel of a phaser rifle – it was being wielded by a lanky Cardassian woman, dressed in dark leather trousers and a loose white tunic. A military vest hung open on her shoulders, and in it, Kathryn could make out the faint outline of another firearm and several daggers.

"Who are you?" Kathryn demanded, her mind racing, playing out several scenarios in which she tried to overpower her aggressor, but there were too many variables. Were they being watched? How many men did this woman have? And the boy, where was he? At this stage, Kathryn realised, all she could do was pray that Harry, Ayala and Vorik were having better luck with the generator.

"You wouldn't know me," said the woman, seemingly amused by the question. "But perhaps you knew my mother, Seska?"

Kathryn resisted the temptation to roll her eyes. How many times would that infernal and indomitable woman come back to haunt them from beyond the grave.

Slowly, Kathryn edged herself in front of Taya. "What do you want?"

"You'll do well to remember that _I_ am in charge here," said Seska's daughter, nudging Kathryn with the rifle and manoeuvring her further away from Taya. "But I _will_ answer your question. It's only fair that you should know. I want your daughter – and then eventually, that husband of yours." She paused, in mock contemplation, "Or should I say, ex-husband? But of course, you had to show up here and _interfere with my plans_!" she finished angrily.

"Seska and I had our differences," acknowledged Kathryn gently, in a tone she hoped would be interpreted as one of amity, "But what happened to your mother, she brought on herself."

The woman laughed a laugh tinged with insanity. "You think I _care_ about what happened to my mother?" she scoffed. " _She_ certainly didn't care about _me_!"

"If this isn't about avenging your mother's death, then wh…?"

"Oh, this is about revenge alright. I want Chakotay dead – deader than dead. I want him to suffer. Do you really think that the Obsidian Order wanted my mother to infiltrate a small, insignificant, weak, little group of misfit rebels? What secrets could the Maquis possibly have had that would have been of any use in the war? But did Seska care? No! She was smitten with him. She managed to convince the Order that Chakotay had secrets worth learning, but the intel she sent back was useless! They couldn't terminate her – she was one of their best agents – so they tried to use me as bait. They tortured me for months and sent her the recordings," at this she pulled up her tunic to reveal the deep angry scars that were crosshatched all over her stomach. Covering up, she continued, "Did she come scurrying back for me the way you did for your precious little Taya? No! She left me! When your ship was lost in the Delta Quadrant, they sent me here, to this filthy, rotten, hellhole. Well, it turns out their training was a little too thorough – I soon took care of them."

"I can understand why you're angry with Chakotay – but Taya has nothing to do with this. Let her go. Take me instead. Chakotay will come for me too."

"The newsreels credit you with more intelligence, Admiral. If I wanted Chakotay, I would have taken him. This way, I've cost him his dear little space station, his one and only daughter, and I trust he's still fighting for his life or he would be here too. This is _much_ better," she said with a sneer. "Oh, I thought long and hard about how I wanted to exact my revenge and then one day, it occurred to me – wouldn't it be fitting for Chakotay to die at the hands of his own flesh and blood? For his daughter to suffer the way I did? For years I waited for the perfect moment – for Taya to be old enough to train, but young enough to be pliable to… mental conditioning. You really needn't have worried, Admiral. I would have raised her as my own. She would have had a little brother – Gerek!"

At this summon, the ghoulish boy entered the room from where he must have been keeping watch at the doorway. "Any sign of the Borg woman?" his mother asked. The boy shook his head solemnly.

"Good. Now stay and watch, you might learn a thing or two."

She turned back to Kathryn and aimed her rifle at Kathryn's forehead. "It's such a shame that I have to kill you now, Admiral. I really did admire you. You were the only person who was able to outwit my mother."

Kathryn squared her shoulders and fixed the Cardassian woman with her most steely glare. With a small, almost imperceptible nod of her head, she said unyieldingly, "Well, you know what they say: like mother, like daughter…"

With that, the sound of phaser fire permeated the room.

* * *

TBC


	11. Chapter 11

Captain Chakotay had been conscious for a grand total of three hours when the call came through to sickbay warning of incoming casualties from the Delta Flyer. The agitation did little for his constitution, but half an hour later, against the Doctor's protestations, he had changed into his uniform and was leaning weakly against a biobed, ready to meet the wounded when they arrived.

Taya was the first to do so, carried in Seven's arms. The former sported a split lip, a deep gash on her forehead that had been crudely healed, and her body was caked in dried blood. None of this seemed to trouble her, for as soon as she saw Chakotay, she leapt out of Seven's arms and rushed to her father's side with a loud, "Daddy!"

Dropping to his knees, Chakotay embraced her as tightly as he could. "Are you alright?"

The Doctor wielded his medical tricorder over Taya and answered on her behalf. "Nothing a good dermal regenerator won't fix…" He paused, contemplating the data on his screen and then, alarmed, said, "Most of that blood is the Admiral's! She's requires urgent medical assistance! Where is she?"

"The Admiral was seriously injured. Her condition must be stabilised before she can be transported to sickbay."

Reaching for his mobile emitter, the Doctor huffed, clearly infuriated. "Mr Paris' medical abilities are no match for mine! I should be wit…"

Just then, Tom Paris' voice sounded over the comm system, alerting the Doctor that he should prepare to receive the Admiral. Seconds later, Kathryn Janeway materialised on a biobed. Her body convulsed as she spewed up blood. Her left shoulder was badly mangled and her mid-riff was stained with blood.

"Oh, God," said Chakotay, colour draining from his already pale face. Even though he was on his knees, he reached for the closest biobed to steady himself.

This was the first time Taya was seeing her mother since they had been rescued from the derelict training facility on Cardassia Prime (the away team having seen fit to keep her away from the aft section of the shuttle, where the Admiral had received medical treatment on the flight back to Voyager). She left out a cry of alarm and made to her mother's side, but Seven held her back, allowing the Doctor and his aides, who were rushing to attend to the Admiral, clear access. Picking Taya up, Seven carried the child to the Doctor's private office. Chakotay followed unsteadily in tow. "What happened?" He demanded.

Absentmindedly stroking Taya's back in an attempt to calm her down, Seven began her narrative from the moment of her crash and Taya's abduction, but Chakotay waved her on – "No, no, I already know about that. What happened when you beamed down to the planet?"

Seven explained how she had been separated from the Admiral, but the sound of phaser fire had forced her to retrace her steps just in time to see the Admiral climb out through a window, as if in pursuit of someone, or something. She ultimately located the Admiral in one of the compound's underground rooms, but was unable to get close, for the room was being guarded by a small Cardassian boy, who, when he noticed Seven, held his finger to his lips and gestured for her to keep back. Moments later, he disappeared inside and Seven was able to creep closer to the room, where she saw a tall Cardassian woman preparing to shoot the Admiral at close range. Seven had been about to intervene, when Taya leapt from the chair (to which her feet were still bound) to came crashing down on the woman, knocking the phaser out of the woman's hands in the process, but not before it discharged, wounding the Admiral in the shoulder. The Admiral and the woman had wrestled on the ground and in the chaos, Seven had been unable to get a clear shot at the woman. It was then that the woman had stabbed the Admiral, who stilled, giving Seven a chance to fire at the woman, killing her instantly. There were no further signs of the boy, not then, and not when they ran a scan for him, after Harry et al had disabled the generator and the away team were safely back on board the Delta Flyer.

"Who on earth was this woman? What did she want with us?"

"I was not able t…"

The Doctor chose that moment to interrupt, sticking his head around the door. "The Admiral's condition is stable, but she still requires extensive surgery. She is conscious and asking for you. Please," insisted the Doctor, as Chakotay started to push past him, "Please keep it brief. The Admiral is very weak and I don't want her getting upset or excited."

Taya was the first to make it to Kathryn's side. "Mum!" she cried excitedly, climbing onto a chair next to the biobed so as to better see her mother. "I'm alright," she said, pre-empting the question. "Dad's alright, Seven's alright – we're _all_ alright, except you. Are you going to get better soon?"

Kathryn nodded weakly. "G…lad," she croaked. It was clear that speaking just that one word had cost her a great deal of energy. She tried to lift her hand to stroke Taya's face, but it faltered mid-journey. Chakotay made it to her bedside just in time to catch her hand in his, as it fell back to the bed.

"Shh…" he whispered. "Rest, don't try to speak." He brought her hand to his lips and kissed it gently. "We love you and know that you love us too."

"Mhmm," murmured Taya in confirmation, covering her parent's clasped hands with her own.

The trio remained, hands joined, for a long, quiet moment, whilst Seven and the Doctor looked on respectfully, the latter counting down the five minutes he had allocated for the visit and the former meditating on her recent, late-night, conversation with Counsellor Cambridge.

Since it had been posed two nights ago in the corridor outside sickbay, the Counsellor's parting question had weighed heavily on Seven's mind and she had spent every subsequent idle moment (and admittedly, some not-so-idle ones – under less preoccupied circumstances, she would never have allowed herself to get separated from the Admiral on Cardassia Prime) contemplating its answer. It came to her now, in the form of a long-forgotten memory, kindled by the familial scene before her.

It was her fifth birthday, and like the birthday before, she had spent it on board the Raven, a small cobbled-together runabout that she and her avid-exobiologist parents had called home whilst they travelled the galaxy studying the Borg and monitoring their activity. Her parents' intellectual curiosity in the Collective would soon give way to an obsessive compulsion that would trump even their daughter's wellbeing, but that day, all eyes had been on her, as she blew out her candles and unwrapped her solitary gift of a music box that her mother must have picked up when last they stopped to refuel. Scans for Borg activity and the data-readings and analysis that usually occupied the best part of her parents' day went forgotten as the family played, dined and chatted whilst pinpricks of light went streaming past the Raven's windows. That night, as her parents tucked her into bed, the sheets pushed in firmly around her (a shield that would keep out the monsters, her father had promised with a smile), a deep and abiding feeling of contentment settled over young Annika Hansen – a feeling that in adulthood, she would unwittingly strive to replicate.

"A collective," gasped Seven softly, her voice barely a whisper.

"Seven?" The Doctor turned to study her curiously, his countdown momentarily forgotten.

Seven did not respond. Realisation had struck her and left her winded in its wake.

All this time, she had thought that Chakotay, and Chakotay alone, could help her find her equilibrium – to feel like the sheets were tucked in firmly around her – when perhaps all that she had really needed was to care and feel cared for. If anything, the last few days had shown her that she wasn't quire ready to embrace the complexities of a romantic relationship – at least not with someone like Chakotay, who was ready to dock his ship and grow roots, when she had just set sail into sea of life. No, what she really needed was a collective, and one like Voyager, where she was cast as the infallible and unyielding former Borg drone, would not suffice. She needed intimacy, a place where she could be vulnerable and people with whom she could share her innermost thoughts. She needed a family.

When it dawned on Seven that she had ruined her chances with the only family that she might ever have called her own, tears sprung to her eyes and for the second time that week, she made a hasty retreat from sickbay.

* * *

Against his better judgement (two days of enduring the Admiral's constant demands for release having worn him down), the Doctor discharged Kathryn Janeway from sickbay into her ex-husband's care. Voyager's crew were on tenterhooks. Everyone, from the senior staff, to crewmen tucked away deep in the bowels of the ship, knew that the five year stalemate between the Admiral and the Captain was about to be resolved, the only question that remained was, to what end.

Upon her hard-won freedom from the confines of sickbay, Kathryn's first order of business was a long soak in a warm bath. Once her fatigue had been allayed and her aching, newly-healed, muscles somewhat soothed, she was confronted with the harsh reality that she would require Chakotay's help to get out of the tub. Like two fumbling, graceless teenagers, they negotiated sight lines and the placement of towels. Only once Kathryn was safely nestled in her terry cloth robe, did she shrug off the ordeal in her typical blunt manner: "Anyway, its not like you haven't seen it all before."

Together (ever the matchmaker, Tom Paris had seen it fit to invite Taya over for a play date with Miral that evening), they dined on a light dinner of soup and bread, all the while making dull, polite conversation; neither willing to be the first to provoke the sleeping dragon in the room. Later, they tucked Taya into bed, sitting on either side of her, as their daughter demanded a bedtime story.

"I _do_ have a story," admitted Chakotay, "it's an ancient legend among my people." Next to him, Kathryn stiffened but Taya grinned eagerly, encouraging him to continue. Most of her father's best stories began that way.

"Its about an angry warrior, a contrarian from the rest of his tribe. Whilst his people looked to tradition and the Spirits for wisdom and guidance, he did not share the same beliefs; instead, he looked to the stars for knowledge and yearned for escape and adventure. As a result, he lived in conflict from the rest of his tribe. For years he struggled with his discontent, but the only satisfaction he ever got came when he was in space. The more time he spent away from home, the most distant he grew from his parents. They could not understand the path he had chosen for himself. One day, his home world was ravaged by barbarians. He blamed himself for the death of his parents and siblings. If he had been there, he might have been able to save them. He swore to do whatever it took to avenge his family. This made him a hero among his people, but it drove the warrior further away from finding peace within himself.

Some years later, he and his war party were captured by a neighbouring tribe led by a woman warrior. She called on him to join her because her tribe was too small and too weak to defend itself from all its enemies. The woman warrior was brave, and beautiful and very wise. The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on, her needs – and the needs of their daughter (for they were soon married) – would come first. In doing so, the warrior first began to understand the true meaning of peace.

He intended to spend the rest of his life with the woman warrior, but their happiness was cut short when the warrior was called away to help rebuild his home world. He could not refuse – this was his chance to redeem himself in the eyes of the ancestors that he had once abandoned. He asked the woman warrior to leave her people and join him, but she would not… could not, abandon her responsibilities. The more time he spent away from the woman warrior and their warrior princess, the more restless he became. He began to blame her for his anger and thought it would be easier to try and love another instead. It took him years to see that the things he had asked the woman warrior to give up were the very traits that made her who she was – traits he had fallen in love with – traits that he now saw and admired in their warrior princess. The warrior realised that he had sacrificed his only chance for peace and happiness and he vowed to do whatever it would take to earn the woman warrior's forgiveness."

Chakotay had been careful to avoid meeting his ex-wife or his daughter's gaze whilst telling his story, for fear of what he might find in their expressions. Now, he found Kathryn studying Taya's bedspread intently, her only perceivable reaction: the glistening snail's trail of a tear that had wormed its way down her cheek. Taya on the other hand, was fast asleep (or so he thought, for being an observant child and frequent co-conspirator in Uncle Tom's matchmaking efforts, she had, after catching her mother's pained expression, jammed her eyes shut and regulated her breathing to feign sleep).

After tucking Taya in further (Kathryn) and kissing her on her forehead (Chakotay), they snuck out into the living room. Once Kathryn had shut Taya's bedroom door behind them, she turned to Chakotay and said sombrely, in a voice leaded with gravity, "We need to talk."

"I meant every word I said in there," said Chakotay, pleadingly. "I know that I was selfish and unkind and for that, I'm sorry. I hope that someday… soon… you'll be able to forgive me."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to think, Chakotay. _Twice_ you swore to be faithful to me and _twice_ you chose Seven instead. Now, you're asking for a third chance? I can't go through that again. And neither should Taya."

"This has nothing to do with Seven - this is about _us_! Seven and I were both lonely and hurting and it was easy to fall back into our old relationship. I thought being with her would be easier, less painful – and it was – but it was also vapid and meaningless. Don't get me wrong, I _do_ care for Seven – I want to protect her and help her adjust to life on Earth. She still hasn't learnt how to deal with her human emotions. But I don't think I cared for her as I should have. It wasn't fair of me to drag her into this. Not when I had… have… unresolved feelings for you. I won't lie to you, Kathryn, I think a part of me wanted to hurt you – the way that I felt you had hurt me."

" _I_ hurt _you_?" Asked Kathryn, incredulously. " _You_ made promises you didn't keep. _You_ chose to leave us. _You_ started this thing with Seven!"

"But you asked for a separation…"

"A trial separation, Chakotay, _trial_ separation. We rushed into marriage when we got back to the Alpha Quadrant. I think that things would have worked out better between us if we'd given ourselves the chance to adjust to life on Earth. I asked for the separation because I thought it would give us a chance to centre ourselves, to remember how much we needed each other. I certainly didn't expect you to run off with the first blonde who so much as smiled at you!"

"Why didn't you tell me all this at the time? I thought you didn't love me anymore!"

Kathryn threw a hand up in disbelief, "You have got to be kidding me!"

"You can't deny that every time we spoke, it ended in a screaming match. You were curt and you were blunt. You cut me off, Kathryn – you would even walk off mid-conversation! What else was I supposed to think?"

"I never stopped loving you!" The words tumbled out of her mouth before she was even aware of having said them, and it shocked them both into silence and submission. After a long while, ignoring the protestations of mind and muscles, Kathryn let out a deep sigh and sunk to the sofa. "You're right," she admitted softly, "I haven't been blameless in all of this. I should have told you what I was feeling. I didn't _communicate_ with you. There's so much I should've said, done…"

"Like about the baby? What happened to him?"

"What baby?" He could tell she was feigning ignorance, for at the mere mention of her unborn son, Kathryn's cheeks had paled and her hand had gone to her abdomen. Wordlessly, he went into his bedroom and returned clutching the crumpled, blue, onesie in his fist. Carefully, he deposited it in Kathryn's lap. She unravelled it slowly and reverently, her eyes welling with tears when at last she read the words 'Baby Boy Janeway'. Immediately, he regretted confronting her with the issue in the way he had and for doubting her, for thinking that she would have harmed his child – their child.

"I thought he could wear this at the hospital. Everyone would've known he was our little boy."

Moving to sit next to her, Chakotay asked again, "What happened to him?"

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Kathryn told her story. "For the longest time, I didn't know that I was pregnant. Sure, I was tired and under the weather all the time, but I didn't think… I mean, we were so seldom together… I was four months along when I found out. I wanted to tell you straight away, but you were on Dorvan, so I thought I would surprise you instead. I went to the house – I was going to set up the nursery – I had this big reveal planned. Then, when I was painting one of the nursery walls, I felt a sharp pain. It was like I was going into labour, but it was too soon. I miscarried. I saw it as a sign. That's when I asked for the separation..."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you would blame me for loosing him. I know you believed that I didn't want any more children, but I was just waiting for the right time. I was worried that you would think I'd done it deliberately. But I didn't, Chakotay. I loved him. I wanted our son."

Chakotay brushed away a lone tear as it rolled down his cheek; mourning for the son he hadn't even had the chance to anticipate. "I'd like to think that I would never have blamed you. Look at how you love our daughter." Then, taking her hands, onesie and all, in one of his and with the other tilting her chin so that their noses were just inches apart and she was forced to look at him, he said earnestly, in a voice she recognised as the one he had used to propose marriage: "Kathryn, what we have – this unending and unbreakable bond – is worth fighting for, no matter how many times we have to do it."

Slowly, but not uncertainly, Kathryn nodded her agreement. "Let's just take it slow this time, hmm…"

"As slow as you'd like it."

Their lips met, in a slow, gentle and tender kiss; just the barest of caresses, deepening as they affirmed their commitment to each other and to a love worth fighting for.

Neither heard a childish voice in the next room let out a soft cry of triumph as her small fist pumped victoriously into the still, blissful air.

* * *

TBC


	12. Chapter 12

A year later, having worked through the heftiest of their issues, Kathryn and Chakotay were remarried under an arch of cherry blossoms in the backyard of the sprawling Indiana farm that once again they both called home. Kathryn still worked part-time, flying a desk at Starfleet HQ, and repairs of the space station in the Dorvan sector now complete, Chakotay had accepted a position at Starfleet Academy, teaching tactics and command classes. Admittedly, there were still busy days when they hardly saw each other, but they made a conscious effort to spend time together each day. Dinners together were sacrosanct, but morning coffees in the quad, ice creams on the beach after school and evenings curled up in front of the fire, talking or reading, were just as commonplace.

On their wedding day, the Janeways' farmhouse heaved and bustled under the weight of Voyager's crew, both past and present, their families as well as many other friends and acquaintances – and Kathryn would not have had it any other way. She stood on her rear porch, taking brief respite from the festivities and fiddling absentmindedly with a Padd that had just been handed to her. As she observed the guests milling about, waiting for dinner to be served, it occurred to her that this was a reunion in more than one sense of the word. Under the old oak tree that Taya had dubbed 'The Thinking Tree', Neelix (fresh off a slipstream ride from New Talax) stood chatting animatedly with Tuvok and his family. Close by, Tal Celes (who had finally found her calling as a kindergarten teacher) blushed, as her fledgling relationship with Harry Kim was made subject to Tom's merciless teasing. Next to them, Taya and her fellow bridesmaid, Miral, bickered fervently over whose bouquet was bigger. It had been a rough year for Taya. Shortly after her abduction, she had begun experiencing night terrors and throwing tantrums whenever forced to be apart from Kathryn. Whilst those had, with the help of Counsellor Cambridge, been quick to subside, it had taken longer for the vivacious and indomitable Taya-of-old to reassert herself. Now, as Taya and Miral began scaling the Thinking Tree, bouquets forgotten, Kathryn felt that the Janeways had finally reclaimed their lives.

That left just one other pressing matter to be resolved and oddly enough, as though guided by some metaphysical force, the subject of that matter was heading her way, arm linked through that of Hugh Cambridge's, as if the two were dear, old, friends.

"Congratulations, Kathryn," said Hugh, by way of greeting. "It was a lovely ceremony."

"It was indeed," agreed the blond former-Borg on his arm. As ever, Seven's tone was unreadable.

Kathryn thanked them warmly before asking for a moment alone with Seven. Each woman nursing her own agenda, her own pre-rehearsed spiel on the tip of her tongue, they made their way to the rusty old swing set which, tucked away as it was in a corner of the ample porch, would afford them some privacy.

"It occurs to me," began Kathryn, once they had settled next to each other on the creaking seat, "that I haven't apologised for the hurt that Chakotay and I must have caused you. I'm sorry. You didn't deserve to get caught up in all of this."

"Chakotay and I have spoken at length on the topic and I have come to realise that although he was misguided, his intentions towards me were never malicious. Besides, I do not feel that I am an innocent party in all of this. I have always known that you and Chakotay care deeply for one another and I took advantage of the fact that you were unable to act on those feelings whilst in command of Voyager. My intimate relationships – or attempts at them – had up to that point, been unsuccessful and I thought that if you deemed the Commander a worthy mate, he would be seemly for me as well – so I pursued him relentlessly."

"Oh, Seven," said Kathryn, with a small sigh, awash with sympathy for the younger, inexperienced woman. Not for the first time, was she struck by the incongruity between Seven's actual and emotional age. "You can't regulate matters of the heart. Love is two parts compatibility and one part inexplicable and insuppresible alchemy." Reaching out to place a hand on Seven's arm – as though physical contact would drive the message home – she continued, "Chakotay and I care a great deal for you and I have always thought of you as something of a daughter. If you are ever in need of advice or guidance, or just someone to talk to, I am here for you. There will always be a seat for you at our table and a room for you under our roof."

Seven felt a rush of colour rise in her cheeks and a heaviness build up in her throat. Not a new sensation, but one that she had, until now, had little occasion to experience. Sadness, gratitude and happiness, her brain identified, the way a food-connoisseur might pick out the flavours in his meal. "I used to think that you were trying to hold me back – acting out of spite because you saw my true potential and were threatened by it. It took me a long time to realise that you acted as you did, because you cared."

"I still do," said Kathryn, smiling warmly, basking in the glow of a friendship mended. Then, in an attempt to lighten the mood, she threw a look at Hugh Cambridge (who stood loitering by the stood, trying, but failing to look inconspicuous whilst waiting for Seven) and with crooked eyebrow and hushed voice, asked mischievously, "If you don't mind me getting back to my old, meddling, ways so soon – what's happening with you and the Counsellor?"

"I do not mind. Hugh and I have developed a close friendship. He has been helping me understand and learn how to process my feelings. I think that in time, I would like it if our friendship developed into something more. For now however, I am content to let things stand. I do not believe it would be prudent to enter into another relationship so soon after my last. I think I need to get to know myself before I can truly give myself to another. Would you agree with that assessment, Admiral?"

"I couldn't have put it better myself," said Kathryn proudly, and then, as an afterthought, "I wouldn't exactly call this a command structure anymore. Don't you think it's high time you started calling me Kathryn?"

* * *

As soon as Seven had wandered off, besotted Hugh in tow, to join the crowd of merrymakers who were beginning to make their way into the large marquee, under which dinner would shortly be served, her spot on the swing was quickly usurped by Chakotay, who blithely – a certain lightness now in his soul – plopped down beside Kathryn and pulled her close, into a firm embrace.

"How'd it go?" he asked, as Kathryn settled into his arms.

"Well. Very well. She still has a few issues to work through, but I think she will be just fine. We should help her wherever we can though."

"Agreed," said Chakotay, regaining some solemnity.

"Good, I'd hoped you'd say that," said Kathryn shifting to look Chakotay in the eyes, blasé about the fact that her carefully coiffed updo was getting mussed. "In the spur of the moment, I told her that she would always be welcome here. You don't mind, do you? It won't be too awkward? I can alway-"

"Not at all," said Chakotay, cutting her off, before she talked herself into a frenzy. "Seven and I have come to a mutual understanding. And I am happy to help her. I owe her that much."

With that, they settled into a comfortable and contemplative silence, needing this quiet moment alone, on what had been and would soon continue to be a lively and boisterous day.

It was Chakotay who broke the spell. "We've come to quite a few resolutions this past year…" he said, as he casually entwined his fingers with hers.

"And we still have a few more to go…" said Kathryn cryptically and sombrely; worry beginning to play across her features.

"What do you mean?"

Kathryn drew away from him to sit up rigidly. "This arrived today, after the ceremony," she said, handing him the Padd that the courier (who, bound by a mandate to obtain thumbprints from addressees, but on this occasion, driven more by a desire to say that he had caught a glimpse of the Quadrant's favourite couple on their (second) wedding day) had insisted on delivering personally, before security had quickly ushered him back on his way.

"What is it?"

"A letter from the adoption agency. They've made a decision. I was hoping we would have a moment alone to read it together, and this seems just as good a time as any."

Four months ago, unwilling to abandon their dream for more children, but realising that their age and the wellbeing of any child that Kathryn might successfully carry to term were factors that they couldn't ignore, Kathryn and Chakotay had decided to adopt a slightly older child. They had known instantly, whilst flipping through one of the many dossiers that the agency had sent over, that four-year-old Edward Colby was meant to be their son. His parents, both Starfleet officers, had died in service, leaving him with no next-of-kin and a certain sadness in his blue-green eyes – one which tugged at Chakotay's heart and for which Kathryn felt a certain affinity. Moreover, with a name that was a near perfect amalgamation of Edward and Kolopak (Kathryn and Chakotay's fathers' first names) young Edward's destiny seemed preordained.

Now, on learning that their son would be home within the month, it felt like a great weight – one that they hadn't even realised they'd been carrying – had been lifted; like they had been made whole – when all the while, they hadn't even realised pieces had been missing. "We have a son!" whispered Chakotay in disbelief, as he pulled Kathryn in for a kiss. Kathryn nodded through her tears – tears of joy, but also of sadness, as she allowed herself to mourn, for the last time, her other, unborn son; thankful for this opportunity and for second chances.

Just then, Tom Paris rounded the corner of the house with Taya, riding high on his shoulders. "We found them!" he called to someone behind him, before adding, "Making out on the swing!"

Gretchen Janeway soon joined him to observe the blushing couple. "Come on you two, people are waiting. Its time to cut the cake!"

Hand in hand, they descended into the crowd of gathering well-wishers. Today's overwhelming happiness would soon mellow out into a lifetime of deep and abiding contentment. It would not be without its trials and tribulations: births, deaths, tearaway daughters and timid sons – but from now on, whenever things fell apart, Kathryn and Chakotay would face them head-on, together.

* * *

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I set out to write a story with no clear antagonist - where Kathryn, Chakotay and Seven were all well-meaning, but fallible; hurting and trying to deal with that pain as best they knew how, be it quietly, misguidedly or clumsily. That being said, it was tricky to achieve and I think Chakotay comes out a little worse for wear (perhaps coloured by my parents own separation). Still, it was fun to write and I enjoyed the challenge of wrangling the characters and developing my first, somewhat intricate, plot. I hope you enjoyed reading it and that you’ll share your thoughts. Thank you. 
> 
> FM


End file.
